I’m going to keep ages and names vague for security purposes.

For context, I have a toddler brother 18 years younger than me. I have 4 brothers in total. I have an older brother, a brother in high school, and a brother who will be in middle school next year.

I love all my brothers but the oldest one went to jail last year due to DV so we aren’t in contact and the little brother who is in middle school was the baby of the family for the longest time, the kind of “he can do no wrong” kind of kid. My brother is turning out to be a bully, no one can stand being around him because he acts like a 5 year old but he’s very aggressive on top of that and it’s getting worse, he shows a lot of traits like my older brother which scares me and my high school brother. He’s just a kid, so overall I try to be nice to him despite my fears and when he is acting “normal” I try to get him into art since I know that can be a good way to release anger.

Now, My toddler brother is my WORLD, I was going through a horrible time in my life and I genuinely felt like I couldn’t handle it anymore. My mum had gotten pregnant again and I was just getting out of an abusive relationship, I honestly was so trapped in myself I felt like I was completely ruined. Then I went to the hospital to visit my new brother and as soon as he was placed in my arms it was like something clicked in my brain, I was completely in love with this little boy. He wasn’t like a brother to me but like a nephew and from then on I knew I needed to be a better person. I got my GED, started eating better, and taking care of myself because I wanted him to have a good sister. It’s been a couple years now and he’s still my favorite guy! I’m married and don’t live with my parents so I visit about 2 times a week, I love my family but I mostly visit for the toddler as we are really close and he gets upset when I’m gone for more than a week.

Now here’s where I might be the AH. Whenever I come home, my toddler brother runs to the door to see me and I say “there’s my handsome guy!!!!” And pet his head but when I see my other brothers, I usually say “hi name!!, how have you guys been/how was school?”. I also take a lot of photos of my toddler brother and play with him on the trampoline, I’m always gushing about how cute he is and I’ve done this since the day he was born, nothing has changed between us as he has grown up. He’s my baby and my parents have always very understanding of this, even jokingly calling him my son. Recently my middle school brother has been having horrible behavior issues and my parents often blame me and my high school brother for his outbursts. Today I was talking about how sweet the toddler is and how he’s so cute and then my brother started acting up and trying to shove and hurt the toddler. I had no clue what was going on (I’m kinda stupid) but I didn’t think much of it because I was acting normal with my toddler brother. At the end of the day, my parents said that I need to stop going on about my toddler being cute because I’m making my middle school brother act up because he’s jealous. I told my parents that I’ve always acted like this and that my brother is way too old to be hurting the baby over that and my dad responded with “parents aren’t supposed to compliment one kid over the other” and I said “he isn’t my son and I am not his parent, they are my brothers and I don’t think a kid his age should be beating up a toddler because his older sister thinks he’s cute” my dad has always wanted me to be “mini mom” and started getting mad and said that I needed to leave and my mum said “how do you think your husband would feel if you constantly went on about how cute your ex was?? It’s the same thing!”. I was disgusted that she would compare emotional cheating to me gushing over a toddler and not a middle schooler but now that I’m thinking about it I can’t tell. My husband and high school brother are completely on my side but my parents being so upset makes me wonder if im just a bad person. I’m pregnant and my son is going to be 2 years younger than my brother and probably really close and I plan to raise them like cousins. I’ve scared that taking away affection from my toddler brother will make him think I no longer love him and I would hate that but if I’m making my brother hurt the toddler by being affectionate then I’m just hurting the toddler. I feel like crying because I feel like no matter what, I’m failing. If im the AH please tell me what I can do to stop 😅