I just had the most awkward text fight with my bridesmaid. I had very low requirements for my bridesmaids: pick out a dress in the color that I provided them and show up and have a good time. This specific bridesmaid lives out of state, so I didn’t expect her to do anything else. I find out the morning of my bachelorette party/three weeks from the wedding date that she still hasn’t gotten the dress and she was trying to see if she could get an alternative off of Amazon.
Tbh, I was disappointed. This friend has been flaky before over little stuff, but I expected her to meet the bare minimum requirement of getting the dress in the right color. I was also surprised because she had contacted me about the dress months ago, and I assumed she got it. Everyone else got their dresses way in advance. She’s kind of using the wedding as an excuse for a vacation, which I get it, but she’s claims she didn’t get the dress due to her potential weight loss. Honestly, weddings are a huge production, and dragging your feet on getting the dress can be a big problem down the line. I I mentioned how this wedding has been stressful and expensive, and that I wanted her to take this seriously because this means a lot to me and my fiancé. She straight up blew up and accused me of being passive aggressive. She didn’t understand why this was truly an issue, and said that it’s not her fault that I made these expensive decisions. She said its not like she’s planning on showing up naked at the wedding. In addition to bringing up a fight we had a long time ago, which I thought we had fixed, she didn’t understand why the dress had to be the right color.

I feel very shocked and disrespected. I don’t know how to go about this. We have a few possible scenarios:

1. Bury the hatchet, and she shows up the in the right dress
2. Resolve this issue, and she shows up in the wrong colored dress
3. Ask her to step down from the wedding party all together and rearrange our groomsmen

What would you guys do? Am I an asshole for making a big fuss on the dress? Thank you!