Pft- I don't exactly know where to start – Well let's start from the beginning. Our relationship started like your typical high-school romance stories back in 2020, one day I had come into school and like daily, the friend group and myself would laugh and joke 24/7, a girl and her little sister had appeared. And, when I locked eyes with her, she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

She had blue eyes, natural blonde hair, she was fit and had such a misleading personality which we'll come onto later but just purely amazing in every way.

We were friends, laughed, joked, hung out with other mates, and honestly didn't see her more than mates just like a 'Woohoo!' moment cause we had another member to the gang. However, she took up dating one of my best mates at school. This guy was a very down and low in the mood type of guy and liked to be one of them cool bad boys in school, you know like getting in trouble all the time. So anyways, they dated for around 8 months and then Lockdown had been announced.

Me and this girl had started talking, and out came the question, "do you like me?", and of course with due respect, I said yes but as mates, but she replied to me with "I love you", absolute gobsmacked, like what??

Anyways we dated for a month at this point and she didn't know how to tell him that she wanted to break up with him. And of course, me being me, stupid enough to think she'd already dumped him 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

So after all that, we dated for quite some time and it's been a hardship of a relationship, very toxic from us both honestly. She would choose to hangout with that ex and this weird mate, he was freaky-looking, long overgrown hair, didn't shower much and was just an overall freak. Anyways, the thing being is, we would have our personal time and time spent together balanced, and she still tried dodging to see me.

We both fell out with these two guys several times and she would still go running back to them in a heartbeat just "to talk", and i always thought something fishy had been going on.

Unfortunately, it hadn't been with these guys, but during summer, it was the six week holidays and i would wait for my girlfriend to come out of sixth form between her exam breaks.. but she left her phone with me to like listen to music or something. Now I know it seems wrong of me to do this, but curiosity killed the cat and of course I checked her phone.

And, I found some weird messages between her and this guy from her class, so I didn't say anything just replayed the whole idea in my mind non stop. We were on the bus home and she could tell something was off, so she finally got it out of me. I just remember telling her "this the only chance I will give you because I love you too much to just let you go".

Some time passed, things were getting better and better but towards the few of the end of our relationship, she drifted away from me – she just seemed distant. I don't exactly know how to explain it, because (just an FYI) she started living with me since beginning of lockdown and everything was well and then towards end of summer 2023, our relationship was on very thin ice, she just seemed not interested in me, would honestly spend more time anywhere away from me and anytime I tried at least small talk, she would just give me such a dirty look like "what do you want now?"

So finally, end of October 17th, it was a Tuesday, the sun was actually quite nice still and I came home to break the news to her that I just don't think it will work out anymore, after everything I fought for and all the effort I put in, almost failing GCSE's to go spend time with her, it wasn't worth it..

She listened, it was mutual and her reactions seemed like she was over the moon to move out, no fighting to keep our relationship intact or anything (but I wasn't looking for a reaction just at least expected something). So months go by, passed by her a lot in town, she found another guy, didn't seem to last long with her, blah blah blah..

A few months of no contact went by and October last year, we funnily enough started talking again, about things we'd been up to, any drama, interesting things or hobbies we picked up and so straight through to Valentines day this year we met up again for first time in a while.

We talked later that week, and somehow fell back in love again, my whole world came back to me and I was extremely happy, committed and was hoping for everything to go well but once again...

Half way into March, she just stopped replying to me and 3 days later, told me that some stuff is going on in her life and is hitting her mental block right now but doesn't want to keep hurting me by leaving me in the dark. But, I'm not fussed, I respect people's thoughts and feelings, and I would honestly wait for her again but should I?

Any questions for side information, I will happily answer 🤙

[EDIT: As a sidenote, I will say everything in life seemed to be going well for me and bad for her after our relationship]