Hello! I am looking for help and the perspective of others in this situation. My boyfriend (32m) is mad at me (26f) for crying this morning which ruined his whole day.

I have had a lot on my plate (and still do) for a while, and i cant handle the pressure well. I woke up this morning and started crying. I was so tired and just couldnt handle my own feelings. My boyfriend heard me crying from another room and came in to see What was happening. He gets stressed when i cry so his approach was maybe a bit accusive from the start, and so i felt that didnt want to open up to him. I said that it was really nothing, since i just wanted to let all my feelings out for a while and then i felt i would be fine after. I did not tell him that because i was crying.

He got mad at me and told me i was embarrasing, that i was ridiculus for making such a scene as a 26 year old and to stop crying. He then mostly ignored me or gave me the cold shoulder for the rest of the day, saying i ruined his morning (and the whole day) for crying.

Important to know is that i have borderline personality disorder. This means that i have a hard time controlling my emotions, which have resulted in me crying really aggressively in the past (which is why he gets stressed i think). I have gotten treatment for this in the past and am mostly a stable and normal person, but am still maybe a bit more sensitive than most people. In this situation i cried in my bed, not super quiet but not the kind of crying that would make neigbours call the police.

I understand that your gf suddenly crying is stressfull. I also know he worries that people will think that hes harming me or something when i cry. However, crying and getting told that you are embarrasing while doing it felt awful. In my opinion that is mean to say to someone. Also it just makes me more sad and makes me hate myself and feel awful. And i think he overreacted by basically ignoring me for the whole day. I tried to start conversations during the day, and to get closer to him, but he gave me the cold shoulder because he did not want to ”encourage that kind of behaviour”.

So AITA for crying this morning? Or is he TA for saying hurtful things?

Please give me your thoughts, and if something is unclear i will try to explain further. Thank you