for a bit of context, my SIL (28f) has always been controlling of my brother (27m) in all 8 years they’ve been together, and was even the reason he stopped talking to our family for two years because of an argument with my sister (23f). for these reasons, my family isn’t my SIL’s biggest supporter besides my mom, because her only son is her golden boy.

on november 28th 2024, i (16f), had a family gathering for my 16th birthday. (in filipino culture a 16th isn’t as big as a 18th birthday, but sweet sixteen is still a milestone of some sort).

our whole and extended family hardly ever got together even for holidays because of time and money issues, so my 16th was the first time everyone had been together in at least a few years.

two months prior my brother revealed to my sister, my parents (46f & 47m), and i, that he would be having a baby. of course, everyone was overwhelmed with joy because our family was only beginning to grow. but the issue was that he couldn’t find a way to make the announcement to the grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.

fast forward back to my birthday.

thanksgiving happened to fall on my birthday this past time, so even though it was a ‘milestone’ birthday, it still didn’t feel like it.

i was in the kitchen, helping myself to a plate of food when my mom came up to me. she told me how her and my brother discussed that today would be the best day to make the announcement because its the only time the family would be together like this for a while.

i immediately felt upset, but i didn’t show it because i didn’t want to be selfish.

i found my sister and told her about how upset i was, and didn’t even realize i was crying until i felt myself choking.

she sat with me in the bathroom to help me calm down while all our guests were over, meanwhile my parents were arguing about the situation.

my mom insisted that i stop crying and be mature, while my dad argued that it didn’t feel like my birthday with thanksgiving, and that it would completely take the spotlight off me.

my brother then came into the bathroom with me and my sister, and comforted me. he told me he was sorry but that this was the best and only time to do it.

i suddenly felt guilty for being selfish, but i still wanted him not to do it. he understood, and said they’ll wait until possibly christmas.

i finally stopped crying, and my brother agreed to take me and my sister out for boba after dinner.

just then, my SIL came into the bathroom. she closed the door and started yelling at me for being selfish and not wanting to share the spotlight because i ‘have a birthday every year’ and she ‘probably won’t be pregnant again’.

i wanted to say something back so badly, but i didn’t. i held my tongue. because i knew if i started talking i would cry again.

when it was time for cake, i was about to blow out my candles, but my SIL stopped me.

she reached for my brother with a weird grin, and said “we have an announcement to make”.

my mom was smiling from ear to ear and pulled her phone out to record. my SIL then told our family about how she was pregnant, and that the baby will be born the upcoming may.

at that point, no one cared about me. i didnt even have the energy to blow out my candles. i started crying again, and it was a whole thing.

my auntie and my grandma asked why i was crying and that i should be happy for my brother and SIL, but that only made me feel worse.

i ended up leaving shortly after and walked almost a mile to my boyfriends house because he was the only person who could calm me down.

my sister and brother then picked me up the following morning, and we talked about everything over breakfast.

to this day, a little over 4 months ago, i still have no apology from my SIL. i do regret how i reacted because i think i was dramatic in storming out, but deep down i know my feelings were valid