English isn’t my first language so please be nice !

For a little context, my brother and I were really close. He came to my house almost every evening, we played games, we did a lot of stuff together and we had a Fellay nice relationship. We often hang out with my boyfriend, my brother and his best friend.

In February, my brother (M) came to me and ask me if he could take my phone and call his ex girlfriend (O) , who blocked him on everything. I asked him why and he told me it was because of a bill he received on his mailbox and that he needed to contact her. I said OK and I gave him my phone. He tried to call her for like two days, he would come in the evening, take my phone and go on a drive. She didn’t answer him and she texted to leave her alone and that she didn’t wanna talk to him anymore. So I told him I didn’t want to give him my phone anymore. The next week, he came he spoke to me like he couldn’t get past her that he really needed to have a conversation with her so that he could move on, and that he needed to know things. I told him no, but over time, he insisted.. so I said yes. (and that’s my fault) He basically told me that he wanted to send a message for O, he used ChatGPT to write it, but for my phone so that it came from me. Basically the text said that he changed, he wasn’t the same as before. That since he move out, he really grew. That he just wanted to have a conversation with her, and so to please think about it. So the text came from my phone, it was send as if I wrote it.

I told him that you needed to write her a message like that from my phone, he didn’t really change and that he was manipulating her and using me at the same time. But we didn’t talk much about it because I didn’t wanted to face it.

Basically, she responded like, she didn’t want it have contact with him again that he hurt her too much and that even if she really loved him, she wanted to move on. (they broke up 1 year prior). I texted her without telling my brother, I said OK and that I wouldn’t give my phone to him anymore and that I wish her the best.

During this time, my brother said that he had new coach for getting in shape and asked me I wanted to come with me to work out. I told him it would be great, but I couldn’t financially. He told me not to worry about that and that he would take care of it. We always went together, basically it was one hour with the coach, I would have the first hour and him the second one. We went together two coaching sessions together. (It will be relevant after).

My brother asked if she answered it, and I send him the message. Two weeks later, he sent me a text that I need to send to her to try to convince her to talk to him. Basically the same as before. I told him no, and why does he absolutely need to have a conversation with her? What was his reasons? That I didn’t understand it. He told me that I just needed to do what he wanted me to do and that I didn’t need to ask him questions. So I wasn’t OK with that, he was really angry at me.

The next thing we had a coaching session. I wrote to him in the morning to ask him if we still would go together if I needed to work out something. He didn’t answer me until one hour before the coaching session. He told me that I needed to go on my own and that he would come for the coaching session 1 hour after because our dad ( his boss) told him to do something and he couldn’t go for the first hour. We had the coaching session at 1. PM and 2. PM. I couldn’t go in such short notice. So I called the coach and I told her that I couldn’t come at this hour, we were able to change the time. But she told me that it wasn’t me. We wanted to come at 1 PM but it was him. Well, he did go. He had no problem going because he lied. Our dad, didn’t ask him to do something. (I didn’t know that until later)just before his session, he texted me that I needed to pay for the session myself (so for the twos we already went and the next ones). He told me that she was nice with me and that he paid for things and he and I didn’t even do what he wanted. I was just disappointed at this point. I was also really sad.

He did pay for things, like for activities. He paid for karting and sometimes for the meals we all ate together.

I texted the coach, and I said to her that I couldn’t come today because I couldn’t afford it. She told me not to worry and that my brother will take care of it. (they were together). I told her no I didn’t want him to take care of it because he used it against me and I didn’t want him to pay for me. He texted me saying that he will pay for it and not to worry. I told him no. I knew now that he will hold it against me every time I didn’t do something for him. We didn’t speak for a little bit.

Then one day he came to my apartment, and he just came in. Like he didn’t say anything about it. I was alone at home, and he would often do that when we were really close. Come to my place and spend to afternoon here, even if we didn’t do something together. I was really uncomfortable, I wanted him to leave but to be honest I was a little bit scared of him. I didn’t want to have a fight with him. So I was really uncomfortable with him for one afternoon while I read, and he was on TikTok and took a nap. He asked me if I send the second text. I didn’t send the text, but I told him I did, I told him I did it before the Friday (the day we had a fight). During this time, I wasn’t on my phone. I was trying to do a dopamine detox. He told me that she texted me back. I was surprised because the the last time she told me she didn’t wanna have a conversation with him again. So if he knew he had contact with her. I told him I would look at it in two days when I would take back my phone. However, I ended up turning on my phone the next day because of a job that I needed to answer it. My boyfriend was looking at my mailbox during my dopamine detox so I would miss a job opportunity.

So she texted me asking me if I knew or if I thought my brother cheated on her when they were together. Because she found some nude picture of other girls in his phone. She also told me not to tell my brother we were speaking because he would be really upset with . So I told her that I had didn’t think my brother would cheat on her that and who he really loved her because that’s what he told me. And I also knew that he had a backup iCloud Drive where he kept all of the nudes pictures he received and that he doesn’t delete it. So I told her that I thought that it was a back up drive that he didn’t really have nude picture that he didn’t cheat on his phone, and that he didn’t really delete anything on his phone. That the pictures are old and no to worry about it. I also told her that I didn’t think it was nice of him to do that to her. But I didn’t think he cheated on her or anything.

Five minutes later, my brother calls me, asking me if I answered her. I told him that I did and that it was nothing. He proceeded to tell me the fact where I said it wasn’t really nice for him to have this kind of pictures. He asked me why I didn’t talk to him before answering her. He started shouting at me. I told him it was really nice that I didn’t do anything wrong. And I hang up. I ask her why didn’t did she send him something, she told me she sent a part of the message and that he couldn’t know was me. It was obvious, I don’t know why she thought he wouldn’t know it was me she just took a part of the message. They don’t have friends in common, I was the only possibility. I send the whole text message to my brother to show him what I said, and then I blocked him. I’ll text her saying that I didn’t want to be in the middle anymore. That I wish her best and then I blocked her too.

I know some path where my thoughts like I shouldn’t have said ok for the first text, I wanted to help him. I realize he’s a manipulator. And I don’t wanna have a relationship with him. Our mom and our dad know this. My boyfriend know what happened to. Our mom says she understand me. My boyfriend doesn’t want me to be around my brother anymore. Our dad, at first, was just saying nothing but recently he always says that I need to talk to him, that he is my brother and that’s stupid. That he is family. But I don’t want to speak to him. Our big sister doesn’t know everything but I don’t think she would really care.

Was I wrong? Am I being petty? I decided to stop the relationship because things happen like that with my sister or my father before him. In the same genre. Where when I say I don’t know to do something for them. They get mad and don’t speak to me for a week. For example, with my sister, she asked me if I wanted to clean her flat a day. I said I couldn’t but I could in three days and she told me she needed me to do it today. )When I clean her flat, she pays me.) So when I told her no, she didn’t speak to me anymore. I had a conversation with my father about that, that when I say no, they get mad and they don’t speak to me anymore and he said that they weren’t being nice to me and that he was sorry. My sister said the same. That they were grateful to have me and that I was always nice to them and that I always helped them. But I think that if it happens again, where they feel entitled to get something for me, I don’t wanna have this kind of relationship?? I don’t know.. it’s family..

Our mom and our dad is separated since 2015

Oh and they’re back together. My brother and his ex.