Hi all,

Nearly 2 years ago, my then 1m son spent 3 days a week at my mum's in her care while me and my fiancée worked.

That agreement was suggested by my mum rather than us pay for childcare while saving for a house etc.

A bit of important context here is that my step dad is occasionally home while she had my son as he does shift work (maybe 20% of the time).

Anyway, he came home once with a bruise and cut on his chin, my mum said that he fell after my stepdad got him out of thr swing and out him down (lost footing), this sounded fine and caused me no real concern, toddlers stumble and hea had minor accidents in our care before.

A couple months later he had an "accident" in the kitchen and slipped over and bashed his head on the oven - again this happens occasionally and it was a small superficial bruise.

Then, a couple months later he comes home with a massive gash and what looks like a burn mark as well on the base/joining of his thumb and forefinger. This came with an excuse that he "grabbed the vaccuum cleaner before it could be switched off in time". I asked how its shredded his skin and didn't get a lot of information out of her.

A couple days later the story changed and my step dad was "chasing him with the vaccuum and he got his hand caught in it"

That's completely unacceptable behaviour and additionally, she changed the story and point blank denies ever telling us the second version (she told my fiancée verbally and wrote it in a message to me).

Turns out that EVERYTIME he's had an accident my stepdad has been there.

I dont like the man (not the usual "you're not my dad" rubbish because i was an adult and have no contact with my dad). But moreso because I just don't trust him, there's something off with him and an unclear reason as to why he left his previous profession which they never clarify and I doubt my mum even knows herself. His children are semi-estranged from him due to whatever it was also.

I told my mum after the final incident that he won't be coming over during the week anymore unsupervised as I don't believe it is safe for him to be there. I also said that I do not want my step dad being around him at all, she is welcome to visit to see him but without him, she told me that she will not do this as I am "not listening" the story "did not change" and my step dad did nothing wrong (deny the vaccuum chasing).

I refuse to budge on this as my mum has stuck to the lie consistently, refusing to apologise and accept that she did it (despite evidence) and as such I have continued for almost 2 years now that she will not see her grandchild with my stepdad here, and will never see him unattended.

My second child 1f has since been born and it changed absolutely nothing from her side, no admittance and frankly no real effort which hurt me. She said congratulations on the birth (sent photos) and asked half a yesr later if they "need anything for Christmas" an offer I refused saying that they had all they need.

I've barely heard a word since and she has never asked to or met her second grandchild.

I feel that I've been more than reasonable (as I can be incredibly stubborn) but I'm just asking for some ownership to be taken and keeping my children safe. Although I do now sadly feel and accept, that the lack of effort since my you gesta birth indicates that she really doesn't care anyway.

If you stuck with this thank you for reading 💚