I go back and forth soooo many times on this so I am reaching out here to see another point of view possibly!

Little background: My partner and I are in our early 30s. We have been together coming on 9 years and we have 2 kids. We are not married though. My parents have always been 100% active in my son’s life before all of this stuff happened. My partner got a promotion that caused us to move states. We are roughly 6 hours away now. I have a sister who lives in the same area as my parents as well. Up until we moved, everything with them and my sister was great! Once we moved, I started noticing that I was the only one to reach out. I decided to test this out. I did not reach out first for a month. I quit sending updates on my son and quit calling when I used to send updates several times a week and called about every other day. It was like they didn’t even notice honestly. I still talked to my sister until I found out that everything we talked about, she shared with my mom. I decided to take a step back from everyone. I was tired of always reaching out first and especially after moving, I thought that they would reach out more.

We tried to have conversations about it over the phone but my mom would always break down and cry victim so the conversation never went anywhere. At one point she compared me to my uncle (her brother) who she hasn’t spoken to in years because his wife interfered with their relationship. She pretty much said I put my partners family before mine. Which is actually insane to say because she spent almost every day for years with us when my son was little and up until we moved away. I worked nights for a while so we were over at her house several times during the week and even after my son started school we would still go over there very often and on weekends. Also to add my partners family was his mom and sisters. We were close but we did not see them nearly even a third of the time we saw my parents. We have also had several issues with his mom which resulted in a break of contact. As of currently we are almost no contact with her.

So I was extremely hurt by this and it caused even further distance from them. My best friend who has been my best friend since kindergarten, her mom has also been bffs with my mom. She still to this day goes over there on the same day every week to play cards. So I get up to date information on how they feel and the things they say that they don’t say to my face. Neither my parents or my sister has ever called me to talk about the issue whatsoever. They tried to call when they were all together playing cards. Did I answer? No. Why would I answer to an audience when this is something that only needs to be discussed between my mom and I. She tried to “apologize” but decided to still a dig in there saying that we never went to the pumpkin patch with them OVER A YEAR AGO (at the time) but we did go with my partners family there. So she has been upset about this for a while and never thought to talk to me about it. And all the while not only did o find proof we went when she said we didn’t but my dad also provided proof that we did in fact go…. In the middle of all of this was my partners mom’s birthday. We had a big thing planned and my parents agreed to watch my son while we all went out on a party bus. It was bet 50th so it was a big deal and since moving states, my partner made enough for me not to work since we didn’t have any help with our son like we had before. So I helped plan and do a lot of the things for it. One night we (me, MIL, and my son) went shopping for last minute things. We were only in town for this event and had it not been a big birthday we probably would not have been in town. I was trying to get everything done because it was the night before the party. My mom was frustrated that we had not brought my son over sooner because he was staying the night. We ended up getting dinner but before dinner, she decided to make shady comments then yelled at me when I called her out for it. It was in front of my dad, my son, and my MIL.

Also to add, about a few months after this party (I found out right when we got back home) we announced we were pregnant again. I had to tell them over text cause I didn’t want them to find out on Facebook. Even with that, they didn’t call. My mom’s solution was to text me the same thing every other day calling that effort.

I’m at a loss because my mom will do this where she holds grudges. She’s held a grudge with her brother for so many years because of his wife. All the things that she makes issues, could have been solved with a conversation.

The biggest thing that gets me is they never have tried to call. They are both retired and spend a lot of time at home. Neither of them could call me in the middle of the day on a Wednesday to talk things through? Nope.

At the end of the day, they have a grandson they used to see everyday that they never talk to. They have a granddaughter who turns one next week that they haven’t met. Should bite the bullet and reach out first yet again to fix this while they are still able to be around? Because on the other side of the family, my partner doesn’t talk to his dad and we cut his mom out (separate story I have also shared here) so they don’t have grandparents right now. Am I taking that away from them? I believe I am keeping my peace but I don’t want my kids to resent me one day for it. What my MIL has done is beyond words so it’s not like they have been horrible. AITA for cutting contact with my parents?