AITAH for trying to be a good dad?

My wife (26F) and I (27M) have had our first son (6mo.) and I'm having a hard time understanding my role as a father. I've seen all the what-not-to-do's of fatherhood, such as being absent, being emotionally uninvolved, expecting labor of Mom that Dad could be doing, and the like.

I've seen all the how to be a good dad stuff that is essentially the inverse, be involved, be present, actively try to do the labors of parenting, take night shifts, feeds, diapers, etc. I even find men that act like they're too incompetent to change a diaper or make a bottle to be infuriating.

In doing all this, my wife has said that I am stealing motherhood from her. It's HER job to feed the baby, so me giving a bottle is robbing her of that aspect of motherhood. Me having any ideas or techniques for soothing the baby has been me robbing her of her motherhood. Basically it feels like I'm an asshole for ever trying to do any of the work, or talk about how to do something the the baby. I can't talk about soothing techniques other than hers, even if mine work well and are well supported, sometimes even by sources she likes or by our pediatrician.

I read a lot of parenting advice and it feels like none of it prepared me for the idea that I can show up too much, and end up being seen as toxic for it. My dad wasn't around a lot as a kid and her dad was mostly absent and physically abusive, so I'm trying to break the cycle, and it seems to be going poorly.

AITAH for not just taking a backseat about my own kid?