Hey reddit, long-time lurker, first time poster. Anyway buckle -up cuz it's a long one.

My parents have always been hard to deal with, while my sister and I were growing up we never had our own space or any privacy, they would go through our things every day, they never supported anything we wanted to do academically or just for fun and my father would make fun of us as if we were too stupid to do those things, they would never give us any freedom to spend time with any one but them or other family members, they would manipulate us into doing things we didn't want to(and if we refused my father would beat us), when I was struggling in school my father instead of helping me or anything we'd call me stupid, or fuck up or whatever crossed his mind every single fucking day(turns out I had adhd and my teachers told them to get me assessed but they never did, and bear in mind this started when I was a really young kid), when my father would make a mistake or something he'd blame us for it and beat us cuz god forbid mr D ever being wrong(I got plenty more shit I could mention but I cant be bothered).

Around the age of 16 I started acting up because first of all I was sick of them(especially my father), second I wanted to become my own person and I couldn't under so much control, third was sick of the abuse both verbal and physical, and forth I was depressed as fuck and in my family mental health was seen as a joke, and my father would beat me nearly every day for shit that no other parents ever would, but anyway I was studying and I needed a place to stay, so I put up with it until I finished high school and just kept sneaking out, smoking, and doing all that teenager's shit.

When I finished high school I was working so I had some savings, so one night I decided to go out with my friends and he told me not to go, but I was fucking 18 so I told myself and them that I was going because I was earning my own money and that I had had enough of having to sneak out every time I wanted to be with my friends or go somewhere. That night my father waited up for me to get back home(I was expecting it), when I got home the way I was welcomed was by being puched and kicked around the living room, and I said to myself enough of this shit and fought back, when Mr Dickhead got up, he told me to go to my room "that we were going to talk about it in the morning", I went to my room, not to sleep but to pack my stuff instead and ran away. As I left, I called my sister and asked her if I could move in with her and told her what happened, she said that I could right away, so I headed to the airport, and bought the first flight ticket I could.

Two years after moving away, my parents reached out and we started building a relationship again, silly me thought we were in good terms, until I came out because I had a boyfriend, and they started being weird about it, eventually they came to accept it(or at least I thought they did)... until last year when me and my now husband decided to get married. On the same year they asked me if I wanted to go on holidays with them, and I said that I couldn't go because we were saving up for the wedding(they didnt even invite my fiance so that was another reason for me not to go), so they started saying that they wouldnt go to the wedding because "it was not a real wedding it was just two men playing pretend, and if I never make an effort to do anything with them(this is bullshit btw) they wouldnt do something they dont want do do", after the wedding I said to my parents that I would never talk to them again, and not coming to the wedding and giving me shit excuses for not doing it was the last straw and I've not spoken to them again.

Yesterday, my father sent me a text saying that we need to have a real conversation, because I dont respect them, and that they love me and would love to talk to me again, and that I was being childish by not talking to them.

Now here's the thing: I've got way too many scars open, and the right thing to do, would be to obviously carry on with my life and not talk to them again... but I cant help but feeling guilty about it, even though they never ever apologized or acknowledged anything they did wrong.

So yeah am I being an asshole?