I (27M) co-own a home with my mom. For years, I’ve paid the majority of the mortgage, HOA, electric, and Wi-Fi bills—despite there being three adults in the house: myself, my mom, and my brother (36) (who doesn’t contribute anything financially).

Since 2021, I’ve paid about $1,100/month toward the mortgage (total is ~$1,647). My mom puts in about $400- $550 and recently took in a tenant (my brother) with 2 cats (we already have a dog and cat at home) who doesn’t pay rent. I’m also the only one paying the full HOA ($250/mo) and the electric bill (~$140/mo). Recently, my mom convinced me to sell my car so that I could save up money and ride the train. I was hesitant but decided to go with it. Literally 3 days later, she refused to give me a ride to the train station that’s 10 minutes away all because I asked her politely if she could stop touching my personal items without permission. That was my only rule, I pay for everything but leave my room alone. This has been an ongoing issue with her for years where she’ll wash or rearrange my things and mess them up.

I got fed up and I offered to do a cash refinance on the house in my name only and give my mom a $35,000 buyout.

She’s now leaving the kitchen a mess (not typical for her), locking herself in her room, and claiming I’m being “emotionally and psychologically abusive” just because I’m pulling back financially and emotionally. I recently decided to pay only my 1/3 of the mortgage ($549) going forward, and she’s now accusing me of manipulating her and trying to make her life harder.

My brother, who doesn’t contribute meaningfully, recently cursed me out for talking (privately) about his situation in my own home. He was eavesdropping on a conversation. He and my mom tag team emotionally when it suits them, and I’ve been the financial and emotional scapegoat in this house for years. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to come home or speak to them at all.

Tbh, I really would rather not talk to them ever again in my life. My brother when he’s upset has made racial remarks about my skin color and my mom has excused him every single time. He’s beat women, done drugs, etc all to be excused and forgiven by mom.

However, this little small interaction seems huge to her because I’ve never step my foot down like this before.

AITAH?