My Granny (78) and I (35 male) relationship got better a couple of years after my dad passed away. I used to visit my granny on my lunch breaks and visit during the weekend to watch Greys Anatomy which is her favorite show. I would cook for her or order takeout on the regular basis and would often clean her home. She loves to go fishing so I would take her fishing a couple of times a year making it a point to go every year on her birthday which is today.

Long story short I hosted Thanksgiving dinner last year (2024) which is something my granny typically did, but hasn't in years. My mom did all the cooking and I assisted. We had the traditional Thanksgiving feast with a few desserts. My granny became upset because she wasn't asked to bring anything. She confronted me about it and I told her that everything was being prepared by my mom including the desserts. My granny got upset saying that she bought three Sweet Potato pies and a Lemon Meringue pie from the lady at her church to bring to Thanksgiving dinner. I told her she should've called and asked before buying them. Even though I didn't want her to bring anything I told her it was okay to bring the Lemon Meringue pie and she agreed to it. She called back a week before Thanksgiving dinner saying she was upset because she wasted her money on those pies and didn't want them to go to waste. I told her to give them away which pissed her off more. She also lied and said my uncle said he was going to be out of town and wouldn't be able to bring her. I had just spoke to my uncle prior to her calling and she was lying. So I called her out on it and told her that I just spoke to him and he will be bringing her. Also, I told her she can stay home if she wasn't going to be on her best behavior. I only said this because each time she called she told lies and started drama and I wanted the first holiday dinner at my house to be peaceful.

During Thanksgiving dinner my siblings and I noticed how hard she was watching me and how she kept giving back handed compliments. Also, I served all of the older people such as her, my Mom, and my uncle and I noticed she was watching me like a hawk. (side note) She didn't bring the Lemon Meringue pie she brought over a dozen miniature pies from Kroger that cost a $1.20. I waited until everyone was comfortable and eating to ask her what happened to the Lemon Meringue pie. She acted dumb as if we never spoke about it. I said granny you said you bought three sweet potato pies and a lemon meringue from the lady at your church. She lied and said she never said that so I let it go and I put on a movie for everyone to watch. .

Let's fast forward, my granny hosted dinner on Christmas Eve. She decided to have a Seafood Boil which I thought would be nice, but I wondered how she would afford it. She told everyone to be there at 6pm. She texted my cousin the day before her Seafood Boil telling her to bring her cats because she has mice. My cousin and I spoke and we decided not to go because we didn't want to deal with a mouse infestation. I text her to let her know that I will not be in attendance. My siblings did also and a few of my cousins did as well. She called us upset saying that it wasn't bad and had a few excuses about why she sent the text. My cousins and I feeling bad since no one would be there changed our minds and went over anyway. I was an hour late and the first to arrive. When I arrived the seafood was still frozen and the kitchen was a mess. I asked her if she wanted me to help with anything and she said she wanted to wait until my cousin J arrived because she said she would help and she wanted her to stop and get corn on the cob since hers had freezer burn and looked spoiled. I suggested we start prepping the food and add the corn later. She yelled so your telling me your not going to let your cousins have any corn on the cob. I looked at her confused and said that's what you said not I. Throughout the evening she fussed at me about dumb stuff and to avoid all of the drama I would go back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. This particular incident three of my cousins, my granny and I were in the kitchen. My cousins were tasting the base that my granny made for the seafood boil, my granny was washing dishes, and I was chatting with my cousins. I separated all of the seafood and the sausages. Then I reached for the knife so I could cut up the sausages to add it to the boil. My granny quickly snatched it off the counter and told me I couldn't use it. When I asked why she held it up towards me and threatened to cut me with it. I quickly became defensive and stood over her and told her she wouldn't and told her how I don't play this way. She threatened me again and I told her I bet you wont. Everyone shockingly stared at us. I walked into the living and sat down then I started my car.

Shortly after I walked out everyone followed. My cousin started giving my granny her Christmas presents to brake the tension and it worked. My granny was excited to open her gifts. I went in the kitchen, I cleaned the seafood and prepped the veggies and started cooking. Once everything was cooking I started my car and left. I said I love you all and wished everyone a Merry Christmas as I was walking out the door and might I mention it was 11pm. I went over my granny's house a week later with the intention of hanging out with my uncles (they live with her) and grabbing some food that was left for me in her freezer. Surprisingly she was there. The first thing she said to me is what's your problem and I said I don't have an issue. She continued to press me about it and I told her to just let it go. She demanded an answer so I told her the truth. Which was I didn't like her behavior at Christmas dinner and she crossed the line when she threatened me with the knife. She said "you know I wasn't going to do anything to hurt you". I told her how that behavior was unacceptable. I also told her all the things she's done over the years that was conniving. I told her how poorly she treated my dad when he was sick and how I didn't like all the snake like things she did with his prescriptions nor did I like how she went against everything that would help my dad live and how she was a horrible mother and not much of a grandmother. I told her about her overall behavior throughout the years. I was really disappointed with her response because all she did was lie and deny everything. I had to tell her over and over to stop lying and tell the truth. I also reminded her that we we're all there, but she continued to lie and gas light me. I said to her that theirs no need to speak if she couldn't tell the truth. I started my car and walked out the house. She ran to the door and yelled from the porch "you know you are wrong'. I looked at her and said you know you are a liar. Then I got in the car and left. I blocked her as I was pulling out the driveway.

I haven't spoken to her since then. I unblocked her in May to send her a baby shower invite that an out of town relative asked me to share with her then I blocked her immediately. My granddad passed away a few weeks ago and his funeral was yesterday. Everyone thinks I should call her since she's the only grandparent I have left. I've thought about it because I miss my granny, but I don't miss her poor behavior and the stress that comes from being in her presence. Today is her birthday and I want to call to wish her a happy birthday, but I don't want to deal with her manipulative ways, guilt tripping, the jealousy, nor the foolishness. Am I the ass hole for not calling her?