Turns out that I (42F) share a birthday with my brother’s (24) new gf “Amanda” (21).

So we started to coordinate plans so she could attend my birthday dinner without hindering the plans she had with her family. I can’t exactly pin point why, but something told me my brother was going to try to hijack my dinner and make it a two for one. Although our birthdays fall on a Sunday, to avoid any issues with my brother, I decided to have my dinner on a Saturday.

When I spoke with my mom about the plans, I mentioned that I felt silly, but that I didn’t want to share my celebration. Not because of Amanda (I quite like her actually), but because I wanted my moment. I also mentioned that my brother was planning a surprise party for her right after my dinner (that none of us were invited to) and her family was taking her to dinner the next day, Sunday. My mom also made plans for our family to celebrate her next Saturday. So that’s actually 3 celebrations.

My mom didn’t acknowledge anything I said and just side eyed me. I told her I felt embarrassed and silly, and emphasized that I liked Amanda (as she already knows), but that I didn’t want to share my moment. That Amanda was going to have 3 moments where she was going to be celebrated with friends, her family, and our family. That was last week.

Come my birthday dinner on Saturday and my mom sees my brother gifting her jewelry under the table right after we sit down and she shouts all smiles “Oh did he get you a gift? Let’s see it!” Amanda took out the box and began showing it. It was a heart that broke in half. One piece for her, one for him. Then my mom took out a bag and presented her with a gift as well. It was a lovely moment that I did enjoy, but I also felt betrayed by mom.

My brother and I have a rocky relationship so I always expect the worst from him and him pulling that move was not surprising. He is also my mom’s favorite despite what she says.

When it was time for my gifts, my brothers (I have 2, one doesn’t have much to do with the story besides this part) announced they didn’t order my gift on time so they don’t have anything to gift me. My mom’s gift I already knew what it was since I had to order it myself and pick it up myself because she was busy working. So although it was a generous gift (Dyson Airwrap), it all felt so hollow. Truly, the only person who was thoughtful with a card and a nice little gift was Amanda.

When it was time for dessert my mom ordered that both of us get candles and get sung happy birthday. That really stung. After explicitly expressing my feelings only for her to do it anyway, really really hurt. I did my best not to cry and look upset.

We have been having little fights and snapping at each other the last few days. A part of me thinks she did this to be spiteful and part of me thinks she did this to pander to my brother.

The drive home was quiet and after we got home, I left again and drove around until midnight. Today, Sunday the day of my birthday I have been out all day doing things I love, alone. It actually feels better to be alone than surrounded by people and still feel lonely.

So, AITA? Am I immature? Petty? Jealous? I don’t think I am, but maybe I’m wrong. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!