To starts off, my boyfriend and me have been together for around a year and a half.

My boyfriend is an athlete and has been for a bunch of years. He’s one of the best in our country at his sports. With that sports, he meets a lot of people and travels around a lot. Through this, he met a girl, let’s call her Anna, with whom he gets along with very well. They always used to have calls with eachother and whenever they would be at a competition, they would spend the entire time together, she was kind of his “girl best friend”. When we got together, I knew of this and it was never a problem for me. I also have male friends and really have no issue with him having female friends. At first, I didn’t really care what they were talking about, he just told me about some things that she was telling him about. They had calls with eachother every once in a while. A few months into our relationship he kept on telling me more and more, which started to make me worried. Apparently, she keeps on playing with some other guy’s feelings, leading them on and pretending she wants something from them, but then just ignoring them. Anna also always runs to my boyfriend immediately when a man does something that hurts her or even slightly upsets her and rants about them. This already made me question some things, but I wasn’t that suspicious about it, until one day I was next to him when she called.

He asked her and put her onto speakers, so that I could join in their conversation. At first I was afraid to talk, since I had never talked to her before, but at some point I joined into their conversation. The problem with this was that she was ranting about some man again and whenever I would comment or ask anything, she straight up ignored me. No matter what I said, she ignored it and kind of just shut me out of the conversation. The call was around an hour long. After it ended, I told my boyfriend that the way she acted made me upset. He agreed later on that her acting wasn’t right. He just excused it by saying that maybe she just had a bad day or was surprised about me being there too.

Anna kept on texting and calling him often and at some point when she called whilst we were on a date, I told him that her acting this way towards other men and towards him and me was making me worried and that I really dislike her. We had a big fight about it and eventually he just said he would stop talking to her. That was around 8 months ago and he hasn’t talked to her ever since.

To the present, in a week my boyfriend has a competition again, I will be there too to support him, and she called him again. He ignored it, but realised that she would be there too and will try to talk to him again. I asked him if he wants to keep on being friends with Anna, to which he said no. I also asked him for the reason why he didn’t want to befriend her any longer. He said that it was only because of me and me being upset.

The problem with this is that I don’t want him to stop being friends with her just because I said so. He sees wrong in her actions but still thinks it’s fine to be her friend. This makes me really upset and sad, since I feel like she treats him kind of like a boyfriend and was completely rude towards me. I also said that I don’t wand to forbid him from having certain people as friends. Eventually I just said he should do what he wants to do. He wants to tell Anna next week that he doesn’t want to be her friend any longer and that’s it.

I feel like I did a lot of wrong things but I also feel super upset and now don’t know what to do. AITAH here? What should I do?