We got pregnant at 20, married at 21, and had another kid at 22. We love them both very much, but our relationship has been difficult, and for a long period of time from about 23-24 I was quite miserable in it. I worked 50+ hours per week and when I was not working, she'd leave me alone with the kids and not say when she'd be back quite often. She said things to me, called me a "born asshole", "selfish", "narcissist", among many others. She didn't trust me even though I never cheated on her or really even came close. I caught her in several lies about her trust for me, and after 2 years of marriage and 6 years together, I disconnected from her because I thought that if she didn't trust me now then she never would, and I also believed we were incompatible, I did not have the capacity to give her the attention she needed/wanted.

Then when things finally boiled over and I told her we were done, in the months following she started changing, got on medication, acknowledged the pain she caused me and apologized, started trying harder to the point where it feels like love-bombing, and my head is filled with confusion and guilt.

I don't feel the feelings coming back, and idk if that's my own selfish desire to be free or if it's trauma from the time period that we went through, but either way it's a sign that things need to end.

I feel horrible for her, I don't know if I'll find someone that could love me or be obsessed with me like her, but if I don't have those feelings any more then what else is there to say?

When we split I will still financially support her, (I'll most likely have to move in with family while she keeps the 2 bed apt.) and be as close as possible for my son and daughter.

I guess I just want to know if I'm being completely ungrateful or not.