For background, I (29m) and my fiance (28f) have been dating since high school, we've been engaged for a few years now and one of her friends, who I'll call Val, got married last week, and it was a complete disaster for reasons I'll get into in a second.

First, I need to start with Val's younger brother, Nick, who is 20 but is mentally more comparable to an early teen as he's on the Autism spectrum. Now, a couple years back, when my fiance was pregnant, she was very actively scared about losing our child, she had been seeing all kinds of horror stories online about miscarriages, at home abortions (circa 1950s) gone wrong, and one post that Nick had made around the same time (unrelated) rubbed her the wrong way.

It was about flushing fetuses down the toilet, and he posted it on facebook alongside a caption something along the lines of "knowing my luck, if my Mom flushed me, I'd have clogged the toilet" something along those lines, and it pissed me off because it made my fiance really, really upset when she saw it on her feed. And he had in the caption some backhanded garbage like 'for the record, I'm pro choice, it's only jokes here' but I messaged him and told him (he was 17 at the time but old enough I feel) that if I ever saw him, he was gonna get it from me.

I don't know him that well, but I know him well enough that he certainly got the message, because the post was deleted and, in fact, his whole page was gonezo after I sent that message, but with him being at Val's wedding, that made me extremely uncomfortable knowing we couldn't just skip, obviously. So, as we were walking into the Cathedral, beautiful place by the way, I looked for him walking in and kinda worked my way between him and his girl, who was holding a baby (his??), because I didn't want to embarrass him in front of anybody.

But I held him by the side of the collar of his suit, and told him like hey, I don't want to hear any of your shit today, not rudely, just giving him a warning that like this isn't the time and place, and he like pushed off of me and just said I was lucky I didn't ruin his suit, some people were looking and already the mood just seemed to be off, a bunch of their family was stopping and asking what was going on, all that jazz, and I did my best to just calmly explain what he did but it didn't seem to make things any better.

It was at the reception, though, where things went south. We were sat a couple tables away, and once again I wasn't going to make a scene, but he forced my hand a little bit, because I walked up after I went up and grabbed my food, and I just went to give him a little reminder that his garbage isn't going to fly with me, I told him that whatever bullshit he has planned had better stay up his sleeve where it is. I understand, Autistic people have trouble reading rooms, so I was just trying to be cordial about reminding him to wait until he's home to be himself.

That caused his girlfriend, his cousins and his sister to all basically come after me verbally, telling me to sit down and stop with what I was doing or I was gonna be kicked out, now Nick just kind of looked at this baby of his, and pointed over at my table, and yes my fiance was kind of waving me on to come sit back down too, so I tipped my wineglass and I promise you, I meant it as like a playful 'spilt a little bit on your shoulder', but it had spilt on the baby...

Here's where he assaulted me. He stood up and got up in my face and told me to "sit the fuck down while I still can", and I didn't like that, tempers were flaring, and I threw my wine glass and it happened to hit him and break, and he lost his shit. I don't know what to say, he was like a Tasmanian devil, his girl took his daughter (they swear she was cut, I think they're full of shit), and he was off to the races. I had my arm out at his chest to like hold him back, he got under my arm and I got up at his collar, and he must have headbutted me probably 20 times.

Half of them I was on the floor for. This was a little over a week ago. I am missing 6 teeth, my nose is broken, and Nick and apparently his parents as well have given me until tomorrow to pay up for their BABY'S medical costs, otherwise they're suing me for assault and child endangerment.

My fiance's pissed, VAL is irate and has said if I am ever present at another event again, she's cutting my fiance out, and my fiance is saying that if I don't pay up, we're through... I'm lost now. All I wanted was for Val's wedding to go by nice and smooth by sniffing out a problem area for them before it became a real problem, but now because of how Nick reacted, I'm on the hook for all of it? I don't think so dude. I was adamant this time a few days ago, I'll see him in court, but now after what my fiance is saying, I'm having to second guess.

AITA? I don't think I am, but my fiance pointed out to me that Nick's 20 with a kid, and that he's probably not the "same person" he was when he wrote that post back in 2021, and I don't ordinarily believe in that stuff. I do think we all have a 'hard wired' personality in us that doesn't really change, and if anything, I think this is more true for Autists, but the sheer amount of negative feedback I'm seeing is making me wonder. I didn't think he'd react to it like that, but he also shouldn't have been holding a baby while I was speaking to him, it's not like I was shooting the shit about the Heat, it was important stuff...