Little bit of context, made a friend (15M) at a footy game and regularly see him there, has impairments that means he needs an assistant so I happily help him out at footy games and take him with our group so his parents can relax, as they’re not massively into football.

Recently, he was very clingy towards me, including him asking me to sleepover sometime this week, when his dad is on holiday. I’ve never agreed to it for a few reasons, including the fact i’m a full time student in uni, i work as well, it’s a solid 40 minute drive each way plus i’m 20 so sleeping over at a minors house is something that’s not comfortable with me, despite him saying it’s okay. However, he found out about a holiday me and my housemates are going on to New York for my 21st, and had been begging me to let him come, even speaking about the holiday as if he’s already coming. I’ve even had his mum tell me it’s okay for him to come as long as i look after him. Now, a few reasons why i didn’t want him to come:

• 15 so he wouldn’t get into clubs or bars
• We’re gonna probably smoke and have a few party nights since we can all legally drink out there, so looking after a minor is something that’s not on the top of my list
• As he’s 15 and impaired, he doesn’t work so I would have to pay for him AND me, bearing in mind I pay rent and bills for a house, fuel and insurance and tax for a car, general shopping to live, it’s not ideal
• He’s stated many times he only wants to come to get laid and to a strip club, again he’s 15, and since i have a girlfriend i would not want to go into a strip club
• He’s gonna have his final school exams the next day from when we come, whereas our group will be finished with university for the year
• He’s never met my housemates so the first time meeting them on a long trip might not be ideal

I have told his mum and dad that personally i don’t want him coming as it’s going to be an “adults trip” and they have agreed with me and were probably relieved, however according to a friend he introduced me to, he’s not taken the news well. It’s been described as a depressive mood and that he’s not interested in anything he usually would be. I have also been told he randomly broke down in tears in class. This same friend berated me however, saying i’ve let him down for not bringing him on this holiday plus just not agreeing to sleep over or hang out with him outside the usual game day (footy and usually a post game meal). They’ve told me to do better and he’s willing to be mates again despite me “ruining his dreams”.

Same day, his mum asked me if i could take him shopping 4 days from then as he had birthday money and wanted to spend it (this would be my first time seeing him outside of football). However, that was the same day as my girlfriends brothers death anniversary, and her family invite me over each year as i was also close with him (it’s how i met my gf lmao). Despite my mates friends words of “doing better”, i said no and also said i wouldn’t be free for at least another week due to work. Again, i got absolutely berated by his mate to which i never replied to it, however this led to my mate blocking me from socials and also my number. Didn’t last long however as 3 days later he unblocked me and said he’d give me another chance. I knew i had done nothing wrong but i really didn’t want to argue after having a long shift so i just agreed to do better.

Anyway, cut to yesterday, my sister (unaware this guy even exists) shows me my mate in her insta dm’s saying “hey”. Also turned out he’d have followed or requested to follow my other sister, few of my aunts, near enough every female friend i have, and my girlfriend. Now, everytime i mentioned a woman in a convo, he’d immediately ask for the name, skin colour, where’s she from, and if she’s good looking. No joke. Even if we’re talking about celebs or anyone random.

Now, i know following people isn’t wrong, but following a good 10-15 people that he must have looked at my profile for and sent them all messages, it just felt weird. This, plus the other events mentioned above made me just give up on him.

Also sorry if it’s long, thought i’d add in details to clear any confusion.

Edit: the kid doesn’t drink or do any drugs, has said he’ll stay with us sober