We were friends for 15+ years. Since july of 2024, i noticed some changes in my friend. We spoke less and by the end of the year we only exchanged the formal pleasantries on occasions.

What really happened was, 2 months back, i took an initiative and reached out to her. We had a pleasant brief conversation up until she said " can i make you a suggestion?" to which i said sure. She then goes on to describe how being social media is a waste of time, the fact I'm academically gifted is standing at the back while only my pictures on IG are highlighted all over, about how she believes IG has become the centre of my life and that i should make better choices.

I was immediately bamboozled because i had no idea what was she even talking about given that this was our first conversation in months following our last meetup. Naturally, i defended myself. To which her response was "she was only making a suggestion and i shouldn't be making a big deal out of it as it's just a critic". I didn't let this brush off.

2 days later, i wake up to a msg from her stating that she won't be texting me anymore as apparently our beliefs don't align well anymore. Now, i genuinely didn't want to loose a friendship over such a petty topic. I made an effort to sort things out by calling up another friend of the same group ( we were a group of 3 people ). I asked for her help to arrange a telephonic conversation. We were then added to the conference call.

This is where i absolutely lost it. I asked her again what was really the issue to which she states the following - 1. The last time when we met, which was back in April 2024, i wore a top which was quite thin and as a result my nipples were visible. It was a clear wardrobe malfunction on my part. However, she told me that it made her uncomfortable as apparently ppl kept staring. I honestly do not remember anyone staring because i made sure my hairs were forward so as to cover the issue.

1. She further stated that she has issues w the kind of clothes i wore and that i have no idea what to wear at what location. Apparently a simple tank top and skirt is a bit too much showy for a brunch date w my friend.

2. How me uploading pictures on IG, invites the wrong kind of attention when all of my focus should be highlighting my academics ( i mean this is IG not linkedin wtf ) and how i always highlight my breasts?! Lemme remind you she is skinny af and has no boobs. so maybe jealousy?

3. During the festivities in my hometown, it was always common for us to hangout together but this time around i noticed she never once called up on me and asked to meet up whereas she was here whole time going out with other people which made me feel really sad and when i pointed it out to her, she said " yes, i didn't invite you intentionally because i wasn't sure of what you're going to wear. "

The last point really shook me to my core. I was in utter disbelief that a friend who has been with my since my childhood could be so cruel and dismissive. I naturally defended myself. I threw her wrongdoings in her face and made sure she hurt equally or even more.

While all of this was happening, the third friend who was supposed to be the mediator, didn't utter a single word. All she said in the end, whatever y'all are doing isn't right. I was taken aback with whatever happened.

I am a girl who loves being bold. I love wearing clothes that accentuate my curves. I have always being the kind to wear a sexy fit. I embrace the confidence within me wherever i go. My parents are extremely supportive of whatever i choose to wear and they never make any objections. However, this incident makes me wonder alot of things.

I am extremely disgusted by this moral policing behaviour of hers where she justifies her action by saying that this was all "constructive criticism" and i should handle it maturely. I am also taken aback by the second friend's behaviour where she didn't say a single thing when all of this was going down.

Does clothes really define our character?