I (38F) ended my friendship with my best friend (37F). It wasn’t one thing but the same thing happening over and over. Every 3-4 months my best friend will text me first thing in the morning an essay of all the ways I have disappointed her. The reasons she gets upset with me baffle me. I’m there for her 9/10 times but that one time I can’t be there for her I go from being the best friend ever to the worst. She’ll state that she needs to “reevaluate our friendship.” I have tried replying to these texts every way. When I apologize I’m not being genuine, when I explain myself I’m being defensive, when I ask to talk in person I am ignoring her. Here are some examples of how I upset her:

1) Turning down an invitation to snowboard Saturday, but wanting to hike Sunday. She legit asked me why would I want to hike today if I didn’t want to snowboard yesterday… 2) Never asking her to watch my cats when I am away, even though we live 30 minutes apart, and 4/5 of my vacations were with her. She accused me of not trusting her. 3) saying “too casually” that I had work New Years Day at 1pm. Apparently this meant that I wouldn’t get super drunk and I’m only fun when I’m drunk… 4) Not attending her craft fair even though I told her I had norovirus. 5) Checking on another friends dog. She was upset because even though she has never asked me to check on her dogs she feels I wouldn’t. 6) taking a 1.5 hour nap during a camping trip. Our other friend took a 1 hour nap and that was okay. 7) Not inviting her to a bar when I knew she was at the emergency vet with her dog. 8) having a headache on a camping trip. She accused me of faking it because I don’t want to be there when I’m reality I wanted to be here so bad I was despite a bad headache. 9) not calling her after she said “I can’t talk now, I’m barely awake and I haven’t slept in a week” 10) food shopping for myself when we lived together and wanting a different dinner than she wanted.

The list goes on and on. After these texts she will give me the silent treatment for 1-2 weeks, while frequently posting on Instagram calling everyone the “best friend ever.” It use to upset me now it just makes me cringe. This would even happen while we were leaving together. One silent treatment lasted 1.5 months and ended the day before my birthday when she let me take her out for dinner..

Back in 2020 she ghosted me and broke our lease. The only explanation she gave me was i “need to work on myself if I wanted to be her friend.” As a result we didn’t talk for almost 2 years. Then she sent me this long text apologizing and taking accountability for almost everything. I should not have accepted it.

During our last disagreement I insisted on talking in person and not over text. She told me she doesn’t want to because I never change. Then she diagnosed me with ‘borderline personality disorder.’ I sent her a quick text telling her I didn’t want to be friends anymore and blocked her. I know a-lot of this has to do with her insecurities but it’s effect my mental and physical health. I miss her and admit I feel a bit lonely but I just couldn’t take it any longer. AITAH?