I have been with my girlfriend for round about 1.5 years. We had a very rough start but I thought we were going in the right direction.

Since I was very anxious in the beginning and brought a lot of that into the relationship I have been going to therapy for one session a month for about 7 months now. I learned to stand up for myself, to try and set boundaries but somehow the relationship got worse and worse.

An example would be that, since she was very afraid to go to the doctor, I made an appointment for her and went with her.

We went by foot.

On the way, just when we were about to cross a traffic light, I said “we should go left here” while nodding my head in that direction, hands in my pocket since I was cold. She blew up on me, said I should’ve known she has a hard time distinguishing left from right, and since the light just turned green I stressed her out. I apologized but also stated that that was never my intention.

I never would get an apology, when opening up about that and stating that I would’ve expected an apology, I would get the most hateful and annoyed apology and felt worse than before. She said I should have empathy, because she is very scared to go to the doctors.

Earlier this week, I just came home from a weekend where I did a presentation about a topic I am incredibly passionate about and when I was back home, I immediately knew I couldn’t tell her about it. I tried a couple of times but she was very uninterested and didn’t really listen.

I also knew she was on her period, and I know she didn’t feel too good. I cared for her, made her food and she was thankful.

When I tried telling her about a little thing that came up while I was solving a new speedcube that I bought, she again did not answer me.

Something broke in me in that moment, I tried telling her that it’s okay if she can’t listen right now, but that I at least wish for her to not make it seem like she hates when I talks. I have ADHD and am easily amazed and like to brabble about stuff.

Hiding in the kitchen, I felt really bad because I often get the feeling she is not interested in the slightest about topics I like.

This is where it somehow got worse.

When she noticed that I’m sad, she asked me if I am and I said yes. She then asked if it was about her not listening to me when talking about the cube. I said yes, among other things. I also said that I cannot talk about it right now because I have to leave for work soon.

She was really cold all of a sudden, saying I was mean for teasing her. I said that wasn’t my intention, it’s just not a good time right now.

In the end she forced me to talk about it, just for her to immediately attack me with something different that I apparently did. When I said we can gladly talk about that but I would like for her to respond to me first, she didn’t really show any empathy for me.

In the end, I was late for work, forgot the food I pre cooked, forgot my meds and was shaken up. The whole time at work I had to fight the urge to cry.

Finally at home, I cried myself to sleep, feeling so hurt that I couldn’t even talk a little bit about my amazing weekend, even though I tried understanding her point of view and that she didn’t feel well.

Yesterday I told her about all of that and she immediately argued, that I said I am sad and it’s because of her but also didn’t wanna talk about it and I shouldn’t have teased it.

I agree I maybe could’ve phrased it a lil better, but also I am so confused. Shouldn’t it be enough that I didn’t wanna talk about it now? What else could I have said?

Maybe just directly saying I don’t want to talk about it, but in the other hand I feel like I just answered her questions.

She said I couldn’t blame it on her that I was without food at work, and of course it’s never only one persons fault.

But am I crazy for thinking she would show me some empathy and apologize, even when it’s not 100% her fault ? I didn’t get any of that.

I ended the relationship ship right then and there, but I’m struggling so much. Thinking I could’ve said something different, asking myself if I asked for too much or if I am in the wrong.

Has anyone had something similar ?

After she had a really scary meltdown where she kept me up all night, implying I wouldn’t be there for her and wouldn’t support her even though I just asked for some sleep and because I was sick at the moment, she finally agreed that she needs therapy.

I know it’s hard to get a place, but she just asked one friend of hers that knew one, and said they will ask around for a place. She never called any others herself.

I just wish I could’ve made her understand me.

I find it hard to accept this outcome, maybe anyone can give me advice how to overcome something like that ?

Any advice is appreciated.

TLDR: I felt like gf isn’t interested in my life, when talking about it she only focuses on my wrongdoings and the part where I feel heard and understood is skipped. Somehow I still feel so much guilt for ending it.

AITAH?