(TLDR at the bottom)

My boyfriend (25m) and I (26f) are photographers who take photos of local businesses. We each have a couple clients we are shooting for, although I’ve been at this full-time for years and he has been doing this sporadically (maybe 3-4 shoots per year) but is considering taking it more seriously.

He had a day off from his main job and picked a Tuesday to make the 2-hour drive from home to the photoshoot venue. It was his gig (I wouldn’t be earning any income from this, but I was happy to be spending time with him and told him I was happy to help him if needed.)

We got to the location and only then did he realize it was closed on Tuesdays so we drove all the way there for nothing. I suggested he reschedule the photoshoot for his next day off.

From that point on, he acted very defeated. It was like this inconvenience ruined his entire day and nothing could help him move on even just a little. I understood his frustration, but it really wasn’t the end of the world. We’ve worked with this client before and they’re super flexible and understanding. But my boyfriend sulked the rest of the day.

Eventually, he asked me what I felt like doing, since our Plan A was out the window. Since we were a few miles down the road from the rental bike shop I needed to shoot, I suggested we stop by there and do it. He said OK to it and we started heading there. I tried to make light conversation to cheer him up, but that didn’t work, so I stayed quiet.

We parked at the bike rental shop and I got my rental. I was required to ride the bike 45 minutes in the heat to get to one of the photoshoot locations. My boyfriend told me he’d wait for me at the end of the bike path (let’s call it End Spot).

I was hoping he’d follow somewhat close by with his car, but he didn’t offer to. After an exhausting 45 minutes, I reached End Spot. I took the photos I needed at End Spot, then told my boyfriend I was exhausted. Trying to stay positive through heat fatigue, menstrual cramps, and leg cramps, I asked if there was any way we could fit the bike in his car and just drive back to the rental shop because I didn’t think I could bike that path all over again in reverse. He looked at me like I said the dumbest thing on earth. (It was a small bike, OK? He could’ve humored me and at least tried.)

He didn’t offer to ride the bike back for me. He very well could have— he’s able to. He had been waiting in his car the entire time, scrolling on his phone and barely acknowledging me when I finally showed up to End Spot.

He helped me shoot for ~10 minutes and then reminded me I still have enough time to make the 45 minute ride back to return the rental bike before they closed.

I told him that my phone’s battery was at 20% (I needed it in order to navigate my way back to the shop) and asked if I could use his charger in his car. I forget my chargers often, so he gets on my case about it a lot. He gave me another one of those annoyed looks and said no, to my surprise. Then he took off in his AC’d car to make the 7 minute drive to the rental shop.

I struggled to pedal on the way back. My phone died halfway through, but I made a mental note of the map before my phone died. I made it back in one piece, but exhausted. I tried to stay positive through it all but I felt let down.

I returned the rental bike and got in my boyfriend’s car. He barely acknowledged me. He was still quiet and clearly upset about his rescheduled shoot from earlier. I had dropped his reusable bottle towards the end of the bike ride and made a small dent in it. When I got in the car, he said, “You busted the sh** out of my bottle.” He made no effort to ask how the ride back was, if I needed more water, etc.

I started to apologize and explain that I had a loose grip because I was tired and the path became bumpy, but he cut me off angrily and said, “Never mind. It’s fine.”

I stared at him for a good 5 seconds and asked, “Are you OK? You’ve been so mean to me today.”

He just turned his face away and asked me to get in the car, softer this time. We drove home for 2 hours in silence.

Am I the asshole, or should he have handled this differently?

TLDR: My boyfriend let his minor inconvenience dampen the entire day for both of us. He was unreceptive to my attempts at comforting him, then let me do physically strenuous work by myself and gave me attitude the rest of the day after having told me he would help.