I (30f) live with my boyfriend (Bf) (31M).

Here is some context that you may or may not find relevant:

BF and I lived separately before moving to another state together. This new location has a higher cost of living.

BF - prior to moving paid $3400ish per month on his mortgage. He already made more than me prior to the move, but the move brought with it a significant pay increase for him. He has no debt and 6 figures in savings. He purchased a $130k vehicle when we arrived to our new state. He makes 50% more than I do. Me - $60k in student loan debt. I work 2 jobs (one of which is seasonal). 0 savings because I’m trying hard to pay off my student loans. Please don’t judge. I also went through a nasty divorce and had to restart my life about 6 years ago. I was literally living on family’s couches.

(For the record: no, I don’t really think all of this is relevant to how we split money. He is not responsible for my divorce nor my student loans. Just as the vehicle he drives shouldn’t have any bearing on this. He is entitled to do what he wants with his money. Life isn’t fair, and I’m not asking for it to be. But I’m providing this information so you might understand the emotions involved.)

When we moved, we did so for HIM to have a better job opportunity. He got a substantial pay increase whereas I only got a job transfer with a very small “cost of living” increase. Yes, I did want to change states for the experience of living in a new place, so I can’t pretend that the move was 100% for his benefit. But financially it was. So when we moved. we agreed to split rent based on income and I was very clear that I could not afford more than $1500 in rent, which is what I was paying in our home state. If he wanted a $10,000/month house he was welcome to do it, but my max was $1,500. He chose a home that was $4000/month. (My pick was one that was $3400ish because I’d hoped to save a little money. But I conceded and agreed to the more expensive home for him.) This means that I was paying $1500 and he paid $2500 (still less than what he was paying in our home state, though. I saved nothing.)

Now we are looking at moving to a home that’s $3000 a month. Do I want to move? Absolutely not. I’ve moved so many times in my life that I’m exhausted. It overwhelms me. And both times now I’VE been the one looking for houses, booking showings, etc. It’s miserable for me. But HE wants to move to a better location away from the city to a suburb. I agreed because I would really like to save some money. It’d be a huge relief. And I was thinking ‘okay, cool, we each save $500 a month!’

The other day he hit me with ‘well, I really think the rent split should be more equitable and that I should be the one saving.’

I was shocked. The whole reason I’m willing to move again and doing all of this work is to be able to save and get on my feet financially. Now he wants it to be closer to a 50/50 split and he made a comment about “funding my student loans”.

Guys, I’m exhausted. And that’s not BF’s fault. I know it’s not. I know that logically a 50/50 split is fair. But I just feel like my partner should be on my team in life. He shouldn’t want me to live miserably, fighting to stay afloat while he drives a $130k car. We agreed to split based on income, and now all of sudden it seems like he’s going back on that.

AITAH for expecting that the savings be split?

(Edits due to typos)

Another edit to add: his argument is also that I wouldn’t be able to find a studio apartment for less than $1500 where we live, so therefore if I pay less than $1,500 then I’m “profiting” off of him. He likes to say that he’s “funding my lifestyle.”

Edit 2: he says that the reason i can’t pay off my student loans even though I make good money is because I have a “spending problem” and spend too much on Amazon. For context: I buy everything on Amazon because I always forget to stop at the store (I’m neurodivergent and have memory issues.) I buy everything from pencils to underwear on Amazon. He just sees the packages and says I overspend.