Names are changed, ages oriantional, everything is happening through discord due to big distance between us.

Hi, so i Ivy (15+ F) have a friend Lily (15+ F) we have mutual friends but in this story is relevant mainly Amy (15+ F) we are all together in multiple group chats.. a little backstory about me, so, i have horrible trust issues, multiple types od anxiety and big issues with opening up to people due to my past where i met a lot if bad people who just didn't take anything i said seriously and this type of stuff, i, (same as Lily) suffer with panic attacks, Lily is a really open person about her struggles, and everything negative that happens in her life goes to her group chat (around 20 people) Amy is more like me, but she doesnt suffer with panic attacks from what i know. So before we get to the story, i wanna apologise for occasional mistakes kr multiplying letters sometimes, im not well kn spelling and English isn't my first language, and there's a storm going on rn, so i might shake a bit. Let's get to the thing now!

So, it all started a few weeks ago, my panic attacks got rapidly worse, my friend just committed su!cide and i was really struggling with my mental health, i decided that I'll take a break from discord, didnt even tell anyone because explaining felt too much, i kept in contact with for me less overwhelming servers, but not as much, this went on for two weeks, i didn't speak a single word to Lily because i figured out that if she wanted contact she'd ask, Amy asked if i was okay after a couple of days, i just told her u needed a break, after the two weeks, Amy reached out and asked if i wanted to join a call with her and Lily, that i dont have to talk, just be there (i have issues with talking when distressed) so i joined, after Amy left the call, Lily decided to go too, but she said "i hope you're okay dragonfruit" which gave me a sense of trust in her, afterwards i messaged her with thanking her and offering to explain why i was quiet, she accepted. So, i told her some things that happened, she sent me a voice message, in short saying that i have to push through, that she's also going through stuff and that that's what she did and to push through. I told her i didnt see a way out of my situation, because i genuinely didn't, she started saying that she can't handle my problems if i push all her help away, i understand that, and told her that i dont expect her to fix anything, and then she sent this message: "Well look dragonfruit I need to say that if you not going to listen to what I am saying I can’t do anything to help you and it’s kind in a way like you don’t want the help and you push it away and it’s starting to seem like an attention thing you got to see from my point of view I am trying to help you and there is only so much I can do…" now, this message may seem normal to some people, but as i said, i had people in my past who didn't take my problems seriously, i was really vulnerable at that moment and i trusted her, and the "attention thing" really got to me, I started thinking that im not valued and that i deserve it, and got to sh again, which im not proud of. Then, a week later, i sent her a message expressing that it hurt me, the message goes like this if its relevant: "Hi Lily,, I really need to talk to you about what happened after I came back from being silent. When I opened up about what had happened and told you that I didn’t see a way out of my situation, you said, “It’s starting to seem like an attention thing you have.” That really hurt me. I did something I’m not proud of—not involving anyone else—but I really don’t want to go down that road again. I’ve honestly been going through the worst time of my life these past months, and things just seem to keep getting harder. It’s been small ups and really big downs. I know you’re going through a lot too, and I’m worried about you as well. But please—don’t say things like that to me. You can think it, you can say it to anyone else, I can’t control that… but when you say it to me, it just really hurts, as im really sensitive to people not taking my problems seriously due to people in my past and it gives me a lot of stress and anxiety. I hope you can understand. Goodnight, take care." A few days later, i got this message: "Let me guess Amy told you that wow why is everyone betraying me today what the hell is going on" mind you, Amy doesn't know what she means by that, i asked her if she knows anything about it and she said she doesn't. anyway, after that message i got 4 minutes of voice messages of Lily yelling at me that "her life is sh!t right now" that "i cant expect her to fix my problems" and another sentence saying "you say everything for attention, you want everyone just to say "oh its gonna be okay Ivy, we're here for you" again, i dont share my concerns with almost anyone, so yea. Then i said that the only how was Amy in this all was she read my message before i send it to Lily to ensure that there isn't anything offensive, i got this message "Ok well I am offended I need some space bye dragonfruit" then i sent just basic"Im sorry" that happened yesterday, that brings us to today, a couple of people were talking in another gc of our mutual friend, including Amy and Lily, Lily send a message about something, i asked a question, and got completely ignored, she reacted to everyone else, just not me, and i am getting ignored from her. I really don't understand what offended her- and was thinking about asking her, but i don't think she would answer me. So yea, did any of this made me the A hole? Does anyone know what should i so now or what could offend her? Please please some advice, i can post updates if something changes, i will respond to comments and private messages, thank y'all for reading💜