I (24f) and my bf (24m) have been together for a few years now. We're really happy with our life, our freedom, the 2 cats, the numerous week-ends together, etc. Our way of living isnt fit for a kid, and I always knew I didnt wanted one. Like, when I was young, I would watch my friends play with the baby dolls, baby them etc, and I would be like wtf ??? where's the fun whats the point?? Fast forward 20 years later I still dont see the fun and even more, kids annoys me a lot. The idea of being pregnant gross me out and terrifies me literally. The idea of being a mom even more. I was never a bitch about it though, I'm fine with women having kids and all, never judged, I just dont wanna deal with them for my part.

So that was for context. Last weekend me and my boyfriend went to a family dinner I didnt want to go because I've been having bad anxiety about family dinners on his part considering :

1. its very LONG (like, you start to eat at 1PM leave table at 6pm) 2. everyone drinks alcohol so they end up all speaking really loud, like 20 people screaming on top of each other to make themselves heard (i have anxiety and migraines triggered by loud noises) 3. its always turning around the same 4 subjects which are :

-when are we making a baby (been 2 years i've been debating that i dont want kids with them, at each dinner), -"political" stuff (lowkey blatant racism) -when are we getting a car because [insert cousins name who is 18] got it before us (we dont need a car, i work from home and his work is like 300meters away from our house, the train station is literally behind our house, we have a grocery store in front of our house) -when am i getting a job (i didnt have a job for a few months but got one recently, though its from home so they dont seem to view it as a real job)

We get to the dinner after I asked numerous time to my boyfriend to tell them I was infertile due to my severe endometriosis (i do have severe endometriosis but I still can conceive). He didnt. 20mins in, grandma drop the "when is the baby for?". I just sigh and look at my boyfriend, because I have talked too much with them about this already and I dont want to waste anymore saliva. He kinda brush it off, we go for a smoke. When we go back, grandma throws the "and the baby???" Again.

I was standing up facing everyone at the table and I said "I am sorry [grandmas name], I am infertile and cannot have babies due to my endometriosis. I asked [bf name] to tell you multiple times because I only see yall for dinners and didnt wanted to make everyone uncomfortable at the table, hence why I was just saying I didnt want kids."

She went again saying she had endometriosis until 20 (1. how did she got diagnostized with endometriosis back in like 1950? 2. how did it stop at 20? literally doesnt work like that) and that she still had babies. My boyfriend then got a bit mad at her, raising his voice and saying "why dont you understand that she seen doctors that told her she cannot have kids ?"

Grandma started crying at this point. My moms bf asked my bf to go say sorry to grandma. No one said sorry to me though they've all realized they have been asking a sterile women to conceive for 2 years. Thank fuck I am not really and I dont want kids because I cannot imagine how violent it would be for someone that do want kids and cannot have them.

Needless to say, there was a huge blank after that. And after the blank, the women around the table started going on with FIV and with how they couldnt have babies too but still managed to have some and all. I gived up at this point, wasnt talking, and ended up with "I dont want kids anyway". Didnt talk for the rest of the dinner, even when someone talked to me I just like shrugged my shoulders or raised my eyebrows stuff like that, just body langage kind of.

I usually never lie but I feel kinda guilty I did, though I did it for the best and to avoid arguments at family dinners. Should I tell them I lied ? Should I go on with the lie and tell them they are about to remove my uterus so they cut it completely ? What do I do ? AITAH for lying to my boyfriend family about this ?