I'm jealous of my girlfriend’s late ex. I met my girlfriend let’s call her J ,a couple of months before the death of her ex-lover. Let’s call the other girl A. They were friends who had deep feelings for each other. They spent a lot of romantic time together and were basically a couple, even if no one ever officially said it, and basically had so much history.

After A passed away, I comforted J like any friend would. I know what it's like to lose someone close because I’ve been through the same thing. I listened to her, gave her a shoulder to cry on, and we grew closer ,eventually, we got together. I'm now in one of the most amazing relationships I've ever had. She's sweet and caring, and we truly love each other.

But despite all that, I can’t help but feel like I’m just a poor replacement for her true love. She often tells me that I remind her of A when I do certain things. Once, I made her a playlist and asked what she thought, and she said it just made her remember A. Since then, I’ve stopped acting a certain way, listening to certain music, or talking about some topics, just to avoid her seeing A in me.

And the thing is, I have nothing against A. She was sweet, funny, smart, and beautiful. But I can’t help feeling insecure. I’ll never be like her , and more importantly, I feel like I’ll never have the same place in J’s heart that A had.

J and I have big plans for the future. She tells me I’m the perfect partner. But I don’t want to just be “the good choice” or “the future wife.” I want to feel deeply admired and loved for me. And I don’t always feel that ,it feels like there’s something missing. I love J deeply and madly. She’s the one I want. But the thought that there’s someone else still lingering in her heart pulls me away.