This was removed by r/askmen so I'm posting here

I have been with my current partner for a year and a half. We get intimate maybe twice a month. We have no children together. He doesn't work. At one point it was 4 months, no sex, no explanation other than he's not sexual, but it wasn't like that at the start and this is a repeating pattern with male partners. He's very affectionate otherwise though.

I've had several partners my whole life (which is nearly all of them) go months without wanting to be sexual with me.

I have a higher sex drive than most women but with all my partners we would go months at a time without sex. They would get on, then get off. Usually for only minutes at a time. No foreplay. Mostly missionary. Once a week of I'm very lucky. Despite trying to talk and talk about it. It just seems like they're not interested.

I try to talk but it's always the same, they're just not as sexually orientated as u am, they're tired. It's always a point of contention. Even my ex husband would prefer porn over me.

I'm attractive for my age, I keep in shape and I'm objectively pretty.

It's always about a year and a half into these relationships it starts. I try to talk about it but it's always the same.

I don't understand. Am I being realistic or is this a me problem?

Please help me understand.