I (20s) and my girlfriend (20s) have been dating for 2 years. I love her but feel like my friends were right about red flags I ignored. When we started dating my friends were concerned that she is showing sighns that she wasn’t mentally stable due to alternative haircuts which I don’t care because I’m basically alternative not in terms of looks but I’m always drawn to unique features or crazy outfits of people. Second red flag was that there were several photos of her being with her ex on her socials which I saw and ignored them because I wasn’t planning on taking her seriously at first. But things were going really well and we couldn’t hide our love for each other and things were okay sexually and also just in general we have that romantic corny movie love which we admit what we were looking for all along and we thinking of moving in together. Before I committed she did mention her ex tried to contact her and I didn’t know how to react, of course people will reach out that’s normal but I don’t do no contact tbh because it complicates things. I expressed that I don’t date people who are friends with her ex and pretty much almost broke up with her and she reassured me that there’s nothing with him and she absolutely loves me.She later confessed towards the end of last year when we suddenly having sexual problems that she had trauma from her ex and there’s certain things she doesn’t want to do sexually like head. I assured her that’s okay and I love her. But I’ve been in my head lately, and getting all kinds of advice. Now I’ve been circiling around my head because I’m kind of furious that she even suggested to be friends with a piece of shit like that, And I told her one time in argument that she had Stockholm syndrome because I don’t understand why she still lets him follow her on social media. I randomly said it feels like he might as well be in our relationship, and that this was a red flag I ignored is blowing up in my face. I apologised and realised the way I was trying to express my self was uncalled for and I apologised, but it was true.

I have been letting the wrong people tell me advice about relationships but deep down I feel like have I settled for a girl that’s just too damaged, the way she even explained that she supported him by cleaning after him because his an alcoholic just never made sense to me because she’s smart beautiful and can hhave any guy. She likes me because I make her feel safe, which is good, but does she desire me like she does even her first bf? They looked like they had extreme fun… and she gave all those guys head and I’m supposed to settle for no head? I don’t even know what I’m saying typing this I feel so confused and feeling like I’m comparing my self to peices of shit