Hi,

TLDR: GF initially says that in the past (before her and I met), she made out with a guy, but didn’t have sex with him. Later mentions that he fingered her and she gave him a hand job. I feel misled.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a few years. In one of our early dates, she mentioned that one of her coworkers is someone she went on a few dates with in undergrad (before her and I met). Years later, they ended up at the same company (we live in a small town).

She brought this up to me, by the way. I never asked about her past. At any rate, I appreciated her being forthcoming and letting me know that she works with an ex.

She then went on to say “we only made out, we never had sex.” Again, I never asked if they had sex, or what they did. She chose to offer this information to me.

Recently (years later), the topic of their history came up again, and she said they made out. This time, unprovoked, she also mentioned that “her top came off”. Something about this felt odd, so I asked more questions. She then revealed that:

a. Her pants came off.

b. His pants came off.

c. He fingered her, and she also gave him a handjob.

I’m not upset that she had relations with someone before me - to me, that’s implied when you’re an adult. I’m upset that it feels like she wasn’t giving me the full picture initially. It feels like trickle-truth, or lying by omission.

She says that her and I just have different definitions of “making out”, and that she wasn’t purposefully withholding any information.

PS: She also mentioned they never fully had “sex” because he’s religious.

Thoughts?