TLDR: My partner (30M) masturbates every day for sleep but watches porn when he does it. (EDIT: He only does this when I'm not home--I also have a higher sex drive than him and am more than happy to help him in that way if he asked, and he knows this). I (25F) don't feel comfortable with him watching porn and he had agreed not to watch porn. Am I being controlling by not wanting him to watch porn while masturbating?

Hi everyone! I'm looking for a little extra insight on this situation between my partner (30M) and I (25F). It may be important to know that I am on the spectrum. When it comes to sexual topics, it seems like he has to be in a mood to talk much about it, whereas I feel more indifferent about it and am fine talking about it at any time. I have always seen masturbation as a sexual thing, whereas my partner sees it as a way for him to relieve stress and go to sleep better. He only does it when he's sleeping alone; when I sleep at home with him, he doesn't do it. I don't have an issue with the idea of masturbating in general if it was for sleeping better, but he said that he watches porn while he's doing it to get off. We already established early on in the relationship that I didn't feel comfortable with him watching porn (I don't really engage with it myself and I have my own baggage concerning it), and he had agreed that he wouldn't watch it.

We were talking a little about it, because honestly, it's been an adjustment for me to see masturbation about it as something other than for sexual purposes. I was asking him questions about it to understand better, at first jokingly, but then more curiously. When I asked if he watches something to get himself started, he said abruptly, "I don't feel comfortable with you questioning me like this." I agreed with it and just said, "Okay, let's talk about something else then." He said that he felt like I clearly didn't want him to do it, and that confused me, because I don't mind if he masturbates. I think it's just confusing for me because I don't really see it in the way he does, and I thought by asking a little more into it, I would understand more. I asked if he possibly felt judged by my line of questioning, and he said that he did. I apologized for making him feel judged, because the last thing I wanted to do was make him feel uncomfortable. I explained to him that I don't mind for him to masturbate for sleep, but that the intention of it does matter to me, and that him watching porn does make it sexual to me and it was something that he agreed not to consume. He apologized and said that he forgot about the agreement, and we were able to resolve it.

I know that the conversation is resolved basically, but a part of me feels a bit guilty about how I handled the situation. Am I overreacting about this boundary of mine? To what degree do I have a say concerning my partner's porn consumption, if any? Can masturbation be non-sexual for people?

If anyone has any insight on masturbation in a non-sexual way, I'd really love to hear it-- I really want to understand more so that I don't possibly make my partner uncomfortable with my curiosity or lack of boundaries on it. Thank you so much everyone and take care!

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your insight-- I do want to mention something that feels important. I have offered to send videos or photos, and while he liked the idea of it, it's never been followed up on. I think that's where part of the confusion is coming from for me.