I (43 M) and my ex, May, (40 F) have 2 kids together, Max (15 F) and Leo (11 M). For the past 10+ years, we have been divorced and I have had the kids full time. Officially she is on court ordered supervised visits only. However, we have been working on building trust and letting the kids go with her for short stays. She would take them when it was convenient for her. Probably around every other month or so.

The incident in question happened over Spring Break 2025. Max had gone with May for the week and Leo stayed home. Leo did not want to go, and I wasn’t going to force him. When Max got back, she seemed off. Like something was bothering her. Eventually, I was able to get her to talk. This is where shit gets crazy.

First, a little background on Max. She is a great child. She is kind, artistic, creative, and smart. However, she does have some medical and mental health issues. She has had heart surgery for atrial tachycardia, she was recently diagnosed with POTS*, and she suffers from depression. Thankfully the heart surgery was successful, and she has not had any issues since. The POTS requires her to increase her water and salt intake and completely cut caffeine. And she sees a psychiatrist for psych meds and has a therapist. You will see why these details are important in a bit.

Now back to what happened on Spring Break. Apparently, May took Max bar hopping several of the days. Each day, May pressured Max to drink. Max was able to hold off on the first day but, by the third day of being asked every 30 minutes or so if she wanted a drink, she had caved. According to Max, maybe if she played along, May would love her more and want to spend time with her. For those that don’t know, alcohol does not react well with most (if not all) psych meds, nor does it react well with the symptoms of POTS. Max drank so much and had such a bad reaction to the alcohol that she was throwing up. Additionally, May was drinking too. This means that, after each day of bar hopping, she was driving back home while drunk. All of this while being on probation for a DUI.

Besides an alcoholic, May is also a pot head. Now, I do not really have an issue with pot, but it is illegal in our state. Come to find out, May pushed Max to smoke as well. May got Max high twice while she was there. As a reminder, MAX IS 15! If she had gotten caught, it could have caused a ton of legal problems for Max and made her life harder than it already is.

Finally, and I know this isn’t illegal, but it really pisses me off, one day on the beach, Max was thirsty and asked for a water. May comes back with a Monster energy drink. May was told that Max has POTS. Max informed May that she is banned from caffeine. Yet May decides that she know better than medical experts, I guess, and gives her an energy drink!

The aftermath. Well, we decided to go back to supervised contact only. If May calls the kids, we want to be present and probably want to record the call. And if she messages them, they need to screenshot it and let us know. I messaged May to let her know and, surprise, she plays dumb. She said she took her around town but must be missing something. BS.

Later that same day, May messages Max. “You betrayed me”. She goes on to ask how I found out and why she told me. Max replied vaguely and eventually stop responding. Typical “I got caught” crap. Over the next few days, Max composes a several page, very well written and thought out “Go fuck yourself” message to May. May’s response, and the last we heard from her was, “Thanks for sharing that with me.”

Legal fallout. One of the people that Max talked to is a mandatory reporter. This means CPS was called. Ugh but whatever. I got a call from the investigator, was asked a few questions, and told that they recommended going back to supervised contact only but since she was safe, they were going to close the case. Good to know that we are on the same page.

After talking with a few people, I decided that I needed to call the police. Even if they didn’t do anything, at least there would be a paper trail. The first person I talked to listened for about 30 seconds and said she would have an officer call me to take a report. The officer called back 9 minutes later. Very impressive. We talked for a while, and he took the report. When we were done, he said that he would send it on to the detectives. That was about 2 weeks ago at this point.

So, AITAH for calling the police and starting the process of filing child endangerment charges on May?

*Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) is a condition that causes a number of symptoms when you transition from lying down to standing up, such as a fast heart rate, dizziness, and fatigue. While there's no cure, several treatments and lifestyle changes can help manage the symptoms of POTS.