My parents conceived me very young, him 20, her 18. They married and I came along, five years later my brother was born. Very disfunction family of four.

Over the years anger reined in our house, my father fucked everything that moved. He'd get guilty and confess to my mother. She, couldn't break from him, stayed because she felt it was better for my brother and I to grow up in this type of family than a broken home. Discipline ruled out home and I got the brunt of it. Beating were common, fistfight as we got older.

They finally divorced when I was 19. College wasn't working for me so I joined the military. During this period everything was better. Even mom and dad got along. I'm out of the military, back at school and working. I'm keeping dad at an arms distance because he was so centered around chasing tail. After counciling I learned a lot about me and him. He was jealous of me, hit on my female friends, yea.

Fast forward, I marry a girl with three kids buy a house, living our best life. He comes to visit, I arrange a golf outing with my son and a cousin. On the course he asks to see one of my clubs (I'm a left-handed golfer) he takes a swing and grounds the club head. My knee-jerk reaction was, "hey careful, you're going to break my club!" There it was...his dark rider. He turned into an animal, completely lost it. Came at me like I was 15 again and I truly thought he was going to hit me. We got back to my house, he went in, gathered his gear and left. Like an angry child.

He contacted me, two months later when my f-i-l passed. He wanted to talk. On the phone he said, that we can forget about what happened or talk about it. I opted to talk about it. I wanted to know the root cause to ensure this never occurs again. He got angry again, used a bunch of 'you' statements then hung up on me.

I haven't talked to him in 12 years. His brother just left a message to say, call me back, it's about your father. I called his son, my cousin. My cousin, trying to keep peace and feeling melancholy about our separation stated my father had a heart operation.

Now this all makes sense, he had a health scare and wants to reconnect. I wasn't having it.

My father calls me and says, "hi, it's your dad calling. I was talking to your cousin he said that you wanted an apology from me. If that's what it takes to make a reconciliation, then, you have my apology." Not hey I'm sorry, or exactly what he apologizing for. Trust me, there's a litany of things he should be sorry for.

So, I sent a letter; sorry to hear of your ailment, I hold to anger or resentment for you but I do not want to reconnect. I'm in a good place and I don't want to reopen old wounds. Please respect my decision and don't contact me again. There's nothing more that needs to be said.

I don't want that negativity in my life again.

What do you think?