I passed my driving test at the start of March, and as my partner (M34) and I (F29) had not discussed buying a car up until this point (waiting times for a test in the UK are ridiculous, if I failed there was no point getting a car that I could not drive), we started the conversation. We decided the best course of action was to sell his car and to buy a car to share (partner works from home, I am currently a SAHM to a 3 year old), it made the most sense financially.

Fast forward to purchasing said car, I am eager to get going and to build my confidence up. As a new driver, I hope that others may agree that there is some comfort in having a passenger in the car in those early weeks. As soon as I start to drive, my husband becomes the most dramatic he has ever been - holding onto the roof, holding on to the handle of the door, moving my wheel, twitching to put the handbrake on etc. I will add that these actions were NOT warranted, he did them he said as ‘reflex’ and went onto say he is just an ‘uncomfortable passenger in anyone’s car’. I have spoken to friends who have said that he has done this in their car, which made me feel more at ease that it was just him, and not my driving.

Every time we now plan to go anywhere, he goes ‘shot gun driving’ or ‘go on your own’. It’s really starting to piss me off, he won’t let me drive to places I want to practise, which in turn means my confidence is being knocked about going to said place on my own. Every time I get in the car with him my confidence gets knocked more and more, but when I drive with other people, I feel relaxed and I’ve also been complimented on my driving. There has even been a few occasions where I have had to pull up and swap with him because I couldn’t take the passiveness of how he was acting.

Today, I asked to drive to our location and he agreed. He then proceeded to explain where to go in a very patronising way (something along the lines of how to follow a roundabout lane). Again, may I add, I am a very competent driver, and I have made sure I know my stuff because I have my little boy in the car, so again, the comment was unwarranted. It really annoyed me where I just stopped talking to him - his response to this was ‘why do I always have to get annoyed about the way he is as a person’. So, AITAH for getting annoyed at him for ‘the way he is’? Should I accept that this is what he is like? I have yet to make any error in our new car, always do my checks, I always go the speed limit, I assess potential situations, which I cannot say the same about him and his driving. Please let me know if I am being unreasonable?