Hello I (25f) broke up with my ex (28m) last November, I had also told him I wanted to break up in June earlier that year and December the year before but he kept making promises he would change and he just never did and then I told him if he stopped scheduling couples counseling that I would be done.

Because of when I broke up with him in December I had moved cross country back into my patents house. He decided to follow me since he didn't have a job so he sold his house to be able to pay for the move. And he moved in with me into my childhood bedroom. Lucky enough my job allowed me to stay on remotely so it worked out.

Come November he didn't schedule a couples counseling appointment and I was just so emotionally done and exhausted. I was so stressed out of my mind that I had vital organs shutting down. I just could not do it anymore so I broke up with him and told him that I was for real this time and I needed him to respect that and he sort of did at the begining.

From November - April he lived with my parents and I rent free. I moved into my parents garage because that was where my home office was set up. I didn't move out of my parents house because I have so much medical debt I can't afford it and my parents said I couldn't move out until he did anyways. Please note, that I asked my mom to kick him out in January but my mom said no because he was going through a rough time.

Somehow I have lost 60+lbs and was feeling good enough to get back into my old hobby of going to the gym. While I was there a guy asked me for my number. I hesitated and immediately told him that my ex still lived with me and he said that was alright. Later on I told him that I need to take things slow because of my past relationship. And things have been going great with him, a complete 180 from my ex but we are taking things very slow.

Well my mom's sisters convinced my mom to let me kick my ex out. I don't know why she wouldn't let me do it earlier but she wouldn't. We told him he had thirty days to leave and he accepted it. But he immediately started in on emotionally and mentally manipulating me again anytime my parents were not home. Sorry, our couples counselor called this fighting for our relationship but it did not feel like that when he would corner me.

About two weeks after we told him that I told my mom that I had started seeing someone else and that I would be staying at there place until my ex moved out because I felt physically unsafe in the house my mom said no that I couldn't do that because she needed my help with things. My ex overheard this conversation, I had taken all other precautions to prevent him from finding out because even if it's wrong of me I still wanted to spare his feelings.

Anyways, he has finally moved out and now his family is messaging me that I am a asshole for seeing someone else while he was still here. Mind you he lived here for almost two years rent free, never had to do any chores, pay any groceries, or really do anything. He left my room in such a mess, I have to replace the floors and we are not asking him to pay to replace the floors, I am taking that responsibility.

I understand that seeing someone while he still lived here could be an asshole move, but I wasn't actively looking for a relationship and it just sort of happened. It is incredibly selfish of me but it felt nice to feel like I was pretty enough that someone would ask for my number and to feel wanted again. And I sort of feel like I am a person again but now I don't know.

Edit: fixing this paragraph, damn autocorrect.

About two weeks after we told him that I told my mom that I had started seeing someone else and that I would be staying at their place until my ex moved out because I felt physically unsafe in the house my mom said no that I couldn't do that because she needed my help with things. My ex overheard this conversation, I had taken all other precautions to prevent him from finding out because even if it's wrong of me I still wanted to spare his feelings.