I posted this on another subreddit but didn't get much attention although, I am forever grateful to those who gave reassurance and advise. So I'm reposting here to get more advise on my dilemma.

Note: long story because I don't know how to be concise. sorry 😜

TW: Violence, Physical and Emotional Ab*se

Background:

I (31F) have a friend (28f), let's call her Daphne, who I became friends with in law school. As an introvert, I was hesitant to talk to anyone first but she and our two other friends, Mia and Rose, approached me first and we have since become good friends ever since!

Fast forward to a few years, Mia and Rose have since passed the bar and became lawyers (yay!) while I stopped school to focus on work from home (during COVID) and Daphne suddenly announced she broke up with her current bf and would start to enjoy the "single life" for a while before starting another relationship, which the three of us highly supported given her past with truly awful exes who used her, cheated on her and just emotionally ab*sed her.

A few months pass by and I suddenly get a message from Rose that Daphne just told her that she's getting married to some man she used to date back in college who she reconnected with the few months she was enjoying her "single life". Turns out, she was secretly dating him a month after her latest breakup.

I decided to message Daphne if what Rose said was true and she confirmed. Before I could ask, she said she was not pregnant, she just wants to marry the guy in 3 months. Of course we were extremely worried that she jumping the gun so suddenly without even thinking things through. We kept reminding her that she was young (she's the youngest out of the 4 of us) and she doesn't have to rush to marriage and enjoy the relationship and get to know each other more. But she couldn't be dissuaded in her decision and so we gave up and just supported her.

We worried that she was making this decision for the wrong reasons. Daphne grew up in an ab*sive household, Her father died when she was very young. Her mother was very controlling and physically, mentally and emotionally ab*sive. Her brother was no different (except the controlling part). They would occasionally slap the the bejeezus out of her resulting to her mouth bleeding, there was an incident where her brother held down the back of her head on the sofa making it hard for her to breathe while her mother is there berating her as well.

So our theory was that she was making this decision to marry, her grand escape from her family. So we just ended up supporting her and offering help if she needed anything. A few months after, she got a court marriage, Mia, Rose and I couldn't attend because we were in different cities and there were still very strict restrictions in our country during the pandemic. She got pregnant shortly after and had a beautiful and healthy baby boy.

Unbeknownst to us however, (D's husband) Kyle's mask fell off a few short months after the wedding and she was silently suffering. The first incident that she told us about happened last year when she suddenly called me asking for help because Kyle had slammed her head against a door, dragged and shoved her to their bed by the back of her neck then strangled her neck while simultaneously covering her face with a blanket. She managed to wriggle/fight herself out of his grip and pushed him out of the room and locked herself in (her son was at her mother's house at that time). Kyle left the house shortly after. She sent videos of herself showing her bruises to our group chat while asking us what she should do. So of course we told her to report to the police station and file a complaint. But she was scared because Kyle was also a police officer. I told her that I would ask my father (also police) and got some advise from him on what steps Daphne should do. He even offered that after she files a complaint at the police station, she could head straight to his office to make an incident report.

We were all very supportive and offering help to her left and right, I even volunteered to go to her and help her file the report so she could have additional moral support because she didn't receive any from her family. When she told her mother what happened, her mother had the f*cking audacity to tell Daphne that she must have done something wrong, said something to trigger Kyle, while being able to personally see for herself the bruises on her own daughter's body! When I offered to go to her, Daphne declined and thanked me while saying she needed time to think and she would get back to me later. Later in the afternoon, I called to check in but didn't receive a reply. the next day, I tried to call her worried that something happened to her. She answered and told me she's not making a report or filing a complaint because she felt bad that she might ruin Kyle's career as a policeman. WTF?!

I felt my heart drop at what she said. I then got angry and told her "Why the f*ck would you feel sorry for the POS who physically ab*sed you?! WHY?! You should feel sorry for yourself! for your son who will grow up to witness his mom being treated that way by his dad. Your son will grow up thinking it's ok to treat my mom/women this way". I won't lie, I just blew my lid and kept listing things that would happen to her (God forbid!) if she continues to stay with this man. I ended my tirade with "Are you willing to stay with him and then end up like those women we see in the news that were unalived by their partners because they couldn't contain their anger?" She was silent for a while and just said no but she wanted to work things out because they only fought about a silly thing. F*cking bread! they fought because of f*cking bread. She nagged Kyle not to eat all the bread because their son wanted to eat them later and then her husband f*cking lost his sh*t!

I asked her what changed her mind and she confessed that Kyle's sister and some other relatives came to her and dissuaded her from filing a report. Yep! they manipulated her with some BS or other. The three of us could not make her change her mind and so we just told her that we will always be there for her if she changes her mind and to always tell us if she's in trouble.

Now to the present, I was woken by a few missed calls early in the morning from Daphne and when I saw she called several times, I panicked and called her many times until she picked up. She immediately said "I can't do this anymore OP, I just can't! I give up! I'm leaving him for good!" we talked more and she told me a similar incident happened again and this time it was about Kyle going out clubbing. She just told him that if her was going out dancing, he should have told her. No accusing him of anything just simply asking him to tell her where he was. And he just suddenly lost his mind! Daphne sent me videos of him just throwing and breaking things. I asked if she was safe and she said she fled to her mother's house where her mother was her typical unsupportive self and trying to tell her to go back and work things out, that it must have been Daphne's fault blah blah blah.

We did the same song and dance, I informed Mia and Rose of the situation, both pm'ed me that they're worried that she would chicken out again and I told them that I would go to Daphne so that I can help with the process.

Daphne declined my offer and told me that she would call me because some of her high school friends were helping her collect her belongings from their apartment and delivering them to her mother's house so I relented again and waited.

I checked in again in the afternoon and evening but didn't receive a reply until the next day. She said that she would AGAIN not file any report or complaint and would just ask Mia to draft an agreement for child support and have Kyle sign it. I asked her what happened this time? And she just said that SHE felt guilty, if she had just calmly talked to Kyle or if she just didn't question him and left him be, this wouldn't have happened and other BS.

As you can guess, I was incredibly frustrated and just told her bluntly, "Your husband will NEVER change, he didn't change when the same thing happened last year. And now it happened again. If you don't fight for yourself and your son, we can't force you because that decision lies with you. We can't force you. You know Daphne, it's so hard being your friend. I really want to be a good support for you. I was willing to go be present and help you with this ordeal but you just aren't doing anything to help yourself. It's very frustrating and tiring to be their for you when you ask for help. But I'm realizing, I can't help someone who doesn't want my help. The ball is in your court, either you end it or keep repeating the same cycle."

After talking to her a bit more, I just felt myself growing colder towards her and our messages just stopped. Now I'm starting to feel guilty about not being a good friend and just wanting to remove myself from the drama because I just want to protect my peace and if I keep involving myself in her drama, it will add to my stress even more.

So AITA for getting tired of trying to help my friend when she won't even help herself?