Yesterday at midnight my “20F” Mom “42F” called me after she had already left the house while I was sleeping, and told me that my grandmother “82F” with severe dementia left her assisted living facility, and was missing in the middle of DC. Immediately I’m in a panic, and she says she’s already on the way. I ask where she is, seeing if she’s close enough for me to catch up in my car, and she says she’s already halfway there which is 30 minutes away.

10 minutes later she calls back, and says that she was found safe thank goodness. But she was in a super dangerous area, and was literally shaking when she was found.

I’m mad at my Mom because what would cause you to not think to wake me up when you hear that kind of news? Anything could’ve happened to her especially given where she was at, and I was the last person my Mom called. We live together, and my room is next door. She kept making excuses saying she didn’t want to wait on me, when this was literally an emergency, and I have my own car. Why would I be worried about my appearance when my grandmother was missing? She even lied, and tried to say that she was on a closer highway than what she said on the phone. Then she lied again, and said I was the first person she called. I literally heard her say she had a 30 minute conversation with my Aunt before she called me.

This isn’t the only time she’s done this too. I had an uncle with stage 4 cancer, and she went and visited him without saying anything when she knew I would have taken off work. I got off work early that same day, and was asking which hospital he was at so I could come. I had to ask 2-3 times, and she kept making excuses saying that she took the easy-pass that we share or that I was too young to be driving that distance. When I asked why she was refusing to tell me which hospital she got mad, and said “the world didn’t revolve around me”. She then got my Aunt to tell me that it was fine that I couldn’t come, so I basically couldn’t bring it up anymore after that, that day. He passed away before I got to visit him. So imagine if something had happened to my grandmother who is more motherly to me than my actual mom. I honestly don’t think I would’ve been able to forgive her ever. Now she’s mad, and saying i’m making this about me too, when all I asked was that she wake me up at the very least when she hears news like that.

Edit: To clarify, I didn’t express that I was frustrated until after my grandmother was found and safe almost a day later. This conversation didn’t happen during the time my grandmother was missing.