Original post- My friend has been having knee issues and recently found out hes going to need surgery. Well last week we were on the phone and he mentioned how he didnt know how he was going to get home after surgery cuz his parents were busy and his coworker had class. I asked him why he hadn't asked me for the ride and he said he "hadn't gotten around to it". I replied something to the extent that we are on the phone rn so why not ask? And he beats around it saying he thought I had class and I tell him I don't and other ways to say 'I figured youre busy'. Then he tries to use the excuse that he hates asking ppl for favors and I told him ok then I'm driving you that way youre not asking for any favor. I had already figured out at this point that he didnt want me driving him but wanted to hear him say it. Anyways, telling him I was driving him worked, kinda. He just made up a new lie about why he'll 'never' ask for my help. He claimed that when he asks me for favors I hold it over his head. I swear this is something I dont do, so I asked for an example. His example was from 6 years ago! There was a day I asked if he wanted to get dinner together before I moved away, he had said something along the lines of 'idk if I have the cash but I'll see' now I don't remember the exact words since this was 6 years ago but I had checked with him again if we were getting dinner and we did go. We got our food and when we went to check out the cashier asked together or separate? He said together, I said separate. I guess there was a misunderstanding, he thought I was paying, and I thought he found the cash. I do pay cuz theres no other option at that point and he says he'll buy me a burrito when I move back. Covid happened so instead of moving back after a few months it takes over a year. When I get back in town there was a point when we get burritos again and I asked if hed pay since he ower me one. That happened 5 years ago and hes asked for plunty of favors since then, which Ive never held over his head. I didn't mention this to him because he'll just say that me bringing this up now is me holding it over his head but I find it really frustrating.

After writing all this I just don't see how this can be a friendship anymore, either he no longer trusts me randomly because of an event that happened 5 years ago, or its something else where hes lying and why would I want to be apart of that.

If you were to ask me I think hes going to ask his friend to miss class for him and she probably will. I think he likes these new friends more because they dont hold him accountable for his actions. I'm not around when they hang out but he's told me how they agree that he shouldn't pay child support and buy him beer even though hes an alcoholic. Where as I'll tell him when hes being a jerk. I've already started distancing myself cuz it feels like a loose loose situation with him.

Update- It's been about 2 weeks since this happened and I tried to distance myself but cracked after a week. And I get that I'm autistic and don't understand people but I think this is him being more confusing then anything. We were on the phone the day before one of his dr appointments and he was venting to me about struggling with not having cash for food and how he hated driving home from his drs cuz its peak traffic time and I offered him lunch at my place since I'm literally down the street from his drs. He politely declined and that was that. But that morning he kept asking leading questions like "what time are you going to cook lunch" and if I was free after his appointment. I asked why and he brushed it off as 'making conversation' but thats weird right? He did end up calling after his appointment and venting how he was just sitting in the parking lot waiting for traffic to die down and how hungry he was and I told him the offer for lunch was still good and he acted as though I was twisting his arm. Even though we had a good time when he was here he kept going on about how he doesnt know how hes going to get home from the surgery and tell me I'm wrong but it sounded to me like he wanted me to offer again just like I did for lunch. But I dont want to. I honestly wouldn't mind if he asked but the dude gave me a whole speech on how he doesn't "trust" me. And I'm not asking what you would do cuz I know the appropriate response is block and ignore, I'm just venting to the void mostly.