I (28F) and my boyfriend (32M) have been together for a little over a year. When we lay down in bed at night, he won’t let me cuddle him. Like I can’t lay on his chest, can’t be laying too close to him, etc. Basically if a large portion of my body is touching or near him, he tells me to move over to my side more. He can tolerate me holding his arm or hand. Maybe some nights I can throw a leg over his leg if the rest of my body isn’t touching him. He says he has to “decompress” when he finally lays down in bed at night. And that me cuddling on him won’t allow him to decompress and is overstimulating. But like..even if we’re watching a movie at night in bed, I can’t lay on his chest. It’s when we’ve actually FALLEN asleep that he will cuddle and spoon and shit. But not while we’re awake. Which is super frustrating and sad to me because my version of decompressing from my day is laying next to my partner cuddled up in bed. Majority of nights he’s in bed for like 20 mins before I am while I’m taking a shower and he still says he needs to “decompress” when I finally make it into bed. Idk I just feel like a compromise would be to utilize that time alone in bed to relax and then be open to some simple cuddling with me. Of course I want to respect boundaries, but it’s hard. Sometimes I feel like I’m begging for that connection at night. I’m genuinely curious what you all have to say. I just feel like we’re not finding a solid way to compromise and in turn I’m getting very frustrated with him at night.

Of course when we were freshly dating he’d let me cuddle him without any argument or pushback, so that also makes me upset