It was my birthday. I wanted to hang out with my friend, let’s call her Emma. Emma brought a guy she liked (someone who i have slept with a few times) let’s call him Tom.

We all went back to Tom’s - he was inside cooking dinner while emma and I were getting drunk in the pool, she told me that she had a crush on him and liked him. They have been sleeping together and have obviously been affectionate towards each other. Tom had been public about Emma and they are almost dating but not 100% official. Emma even said they were not dating yet. but i was completely aware they liked each other.

That night I was incredibly drunk, so was tom. Emma fell asleep cuddling Tom. I was sleeping on the other end of the bed - Tom strategically slept in the middle to sleep next to both emma and myself. i kept my distance out of respect. Tom then started to make a move on me - fingering, grabbing etc etc. he moved my hand down and started rubbing my hand on him. he put my hand under his underwear, i started jerking him off - which he was encouraging (idk why I just felt like going along with it). He then left the room expecting me to follow him to the other room to have sex while emma was sleeping.

I waited 10-15 minutes thinking about it. I was drunk but not completely out of it, i could still make conscious decisions. he came back to see if i was coming and as soon as he came back i met him at the door and he started making out with me. he took me to the other room and we had sex.

I can’t help but feel fucking awful. 1 month later they’re dating now and he is still making moves on me and his other ex girlfriend. I have NOT engaged in anything else after that as Emma has told me that she is jealous. i can’t say the same for any other girls tho. all i know is he is unfaithful and Emma is asking me to find out what i know.

there’s no defending what i did. i feel bad so i know what i did was wrong - but they weren’t completely dating and he came on to me first (i know i should have just said fucking no which makes me in the wrong too)

Is this something i should tell her??? every time she asks about his previous relationships (including me) she is always very worried. I think this is something she needs to know since Tom is still making moves. I just really don’t want to tell her that we have slept together but I can’t tell her that he’s unfaithful without evidence.

• i know i’m the asshole. i just need to know how shitty of a thing i’ve done and if telling her is even necessary. especially since she just wants clarity. or maybe there’s a lighter way i can warn her about him? i also feel like i owe her the truth since we have become really close over the past 3 weeks. (for reference we fucked in the end of february)

DO I TELL HER ?!

edit: don’t worry i know im the asshole. if i tried to make any excuses above fkn ignore me im a cunt. i just need advice whether to tell her or not.