I have been in a gay relationship for four years now. At first I wasn't expecting to get serious but before I knew it we moved in together.

I quickly came out to my family. And I was met with anger. My mother cried and told me that I was with the devil. My brother stopped taking to me. My sister sided with our mother. I ruined my relationship with my bio family. Over the years I've slowly put the peaces of my family back together. While waiting for my boyfriend to tell his family.

One year passed and I tried asking him but he said no. And I brushed it off. I told my self that he just watched my family fall apart and that he was scared. The second year passed and I pushed a little harder but ended up falling in to the same old routine. The third year passed and I didn't ask at all. I've respected his privacy and have let him move at his own pace.

Now we're on year four. He keeps calling me his husband. And I wear a ring on my finger even tho we're not married. My mother and family are now OK with us and even come to see us on holidays. Things have began to really settle. And I have thought about proposing.

The issue is that he still won't tell his family. And it's starting to hurt me. We've talked about it. He claims that he is protecting me from them being mean. But he is forgetting the hell i went through with my family. I got really fed up with it and feeling like im nit a real partner. That I will never be part of the family.

So I gave him the ultimatum: Tell your mother by my birthday or else I'll assume were done and I'll move in to the spare bedroom untill our lease is up.

My birthday is in 6 months. He has half a year. I told him that it's been 4 years. And I need someone who wants me to be part of their family. Or be an allie and support when it comes ro family occasions. His great grandparents are sick and he is making frequent trips to see them. But leaves me so no one will see me. I am at the point where I can't have his back if he doesn't tell anyone. How am I supposed be the shpulder he cryes when i cant even be there for him in hard times.

After he heard the ultimatum. He lashed out. Yelling at me asking me why I was trying to ruin his relationship with his family. And asking me of our love isn't enough.

Now I feel like an asshole. Did I mess up? Should I have let him be? Am I the asshole? Is 4 years not long enough to tell your mother and father that your gay?