This event happened a little over a month ago but I still think about whether or not I was in the wrong.

I (21) have been housing my roommate (21) in my apartment for the past several months to help them get back on their feet. I won't go in to too much context over our living situation for it to not steer the conversation.

During their time staying at my place they had been borrowing a tool set from me (with my permission) so that they can work on their vehicle to get it running again. I will admit that I did not tell this roommate the discomfort I feel when my things aren't consistently accounted for, but I also assumed it's basic manners when you're borrowing something from somebody that you will ensure everything is neatly cared for and accounted for. There are several small pieces in each tool kit so I have a very high expectation that nothing is to be lost or separated.

After a few weeks of my roommate working on their car, I had taken notice parts of my tool kit had been left sitting on the front table. A screwdriver and some screwdriver bits that can be very easily lost along with a few varying tools that didn't appear to be mine. Some amount of days drag on of me seeing the stuff still sitting on the table before I finally verbalize to my roommate that I am highly uncomfortable with my tools being scattered around various places and that I want her to ensure my tools all get put back. They say "Ok" and that they'll make sure that happens.

Anyway, this same conversation repeats for a few weeks of me seeing the same stuff on the table and telling them I want my tools put away properly and accounted for and her saying she'll do that. (News flash. She didn't do that.) They also keep assuring me that they're "probably around my car somewhere" and that I have nothing to worry about. For more context, I tend to speak in a very monotone manner and am not the type have facial expressions showing how I feel about something. The way I counter act this is by blatantly expressing how I feel through words so that my point gets across. However, my roommate does not seem to understand that me blatantly telling them this makes me anxious and uncomfortable is me literally meaning that I'm not happy all my tools are still MIA. I don't know if it's because I a pretty dry and gentle tone or what.

This drags on for a few weeks of me telling them before I head out to put my tools away and it not getting done. Finally after a long day, I get fed up after blatantly saying I wanted it done. I came home around midnight after telling them to take care of it at 10AM, saw it wasn't done yet again, and grabbed the keys to their car. They were sleeping at the time and it was also pouring rain. Basically I went through the vehicle and grabbed every tool that was mine and was slowly getting more annoyed as I saw various tools were missing from both kits. This meant I had to dig through this messy vehicle just to find pieces of it.

I found tools in the glove compartment, the driver side compartment, the trunk, the back seat floor, and various other spots.

To say the least, I was pissed. After all that, things were still missing. So I laid both tool boxes next to their bed and sent a very strongly worded message telling them to FIND MY STUFF AND PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU GOT IT.

The next morning they sent me a long message saying it was a complete violation for me to go through their car and that I should have woken them up to do it instead. They also said they didn't realize it was that important to me and that they didn't know I'd be mad if it didn't get done and I should have told them how I felt.

I messaged back saying that I've reminded them numerous times and that it shouldn't take me getting angry for them to get the memo. I also stated that I am not their mother and I should not be having to remind them this many times let alone WAKE THEM UP just so you can take care of something you should have already been taking care of in the beginning. I also said that it's basic manners to know how to treat someone else's things when you use them.

I basically laid out the law of have it taken care of or there will be consequences.

This lead into yet another month of sleeping when I get home and it not getting done with various excuses as to why or why not, or bring me tools that aren't even mine and don't belong to either of my kits, and just placing the tools on the table and not ACTUALLY PUTTING THEM IN THE TOOL KIT.

It took over six ish weeks for everything to get returned to me.

AITAH?