Hi all-Looking to see if I/my husband am/are TAH here. Backstory: My husband and I have been married for 15 years, together 16, and we have 2 children together. My FIL and MIL were divorced when I met them, my FIL cheated on my MIL with a coworker and tossed their 25 year marriage down the drain. I’m extremely close to my MIL as is my husband. She is just an extremely selfless, hard working, loving, giving, accepting person. My FIL is…not so much. He is a “born again Christian” that married his affair, and we speak about 4 times a year. If that. We haven’t seen him in about 5 years, but he sends our kids a card for the holidays which is nice of him. My husband added up the total time they spoke over the last year and it’s just under 1 hour. My FILs wife isn’t friendly towards us-she acts like she is but she isn’t. She has her own children and seems satisfied to speak to them and not us. Long story short-my husband has no real relationship with his father, and is very close to his mother. As I am, and our children.

My FIL is extremely republican. He posts about 10 times a day the most vile things on Facebook. He supports all of the deportations happening, he thinks Trump is the next coming of Christ basically. He has starting sharing posts about autism and vaccines and RFK. Both of our children have autism, and it’s a sensitive spot for us, of course, because we love our children and wouldn’t change a thing.

So-he has decided to come visit us for the first time in years. Just him, his wife isn’t coming along. We don’t really care for him to visit, our children don’t even know who he is at this point. We feel bad saying we aren’t comfortable though, and wonder if we are being rude and just need to bite down and try to have a good time.

I’ve thought about going to my sisters while he’s here, but I don’t know.

Bottom line- we have totally different views, and see his as dangerous and hateful. Would we be TAH for asking him not to come? Should we just get through it?