I (36F) went no-contact with my cousin “Liz” (38F) a year ago after years of her mistreating my son. Liz has always been difficult—narcissistic, controlling, and prone to yelling at kids, including mine. For context, we didn’t grow up close due to distance, but I moved near my extended family 12 years ago during a rough patch, and it really helped me. I got close with my cousin “Jamie” (40F), but Liz was always... intense.

Once I had kids, things got worse. Liz, who didn’t have children at the time, took on a self-appointed “fun aunt/disciplinarian” role, but she was unfair and harsh with my son, often singling him out. One example: she put my 3-year-old in timeout for defending himself from an older child, while the older kid got no consequence. I asked her multiple times to talk to me or my husband if she thought our son needed correction, but she’d ignore us and yell at him anyway.

When she had her own child, everything got more dramatic. She’d scream at the other kids for being noisy if her baby was napping, dumped out my water while I was holding my infant because “it could spill,” and even berated my husband for placing a sealed drink on a coffee table. She constantly accused my son (who we later learned is on the spectrum) of hurting her child, even when other kids or adults confirmed he hadn’t done anything.

The final straw was when she screamed at me in front of the kids, said if she had to “parent my child” again, she’d “put hands on both of us.” I said nothing at the time, but texted her later that if she kept treating my son that way, we’d stop attending gatherings she was at. Her response? “Ok 😀”

My husband and I agreed to go no-contact for our kids’ safety. I told the rest of the family via group text, explaining we’d no longer attend anything Liz was part of and asked only for our decision to be respected. Most didn’t respond. Since then, we’ve only been invited to a couple events—both hosted by Liz’s mom—and Liz was at both. One time, my mom convinced me to go by promising Liz would show up late and we could leave before she arrived. We did, but it hurt—my kids cried the whole ride home because they barely got to see their cousins, and lunch was delayed until Liz got there anyway.

Now, my mom blames me for the estrangement. She says I told the family not to invite me. I said no—I asked them to choose, even just once or twice a year, to include us without Liz. Nobody has. And honestly, I’m exhausted trying to protect my son from someone the rest of the family keeps enabling.

AITA?

**Edited with chatGPT otherwise it would be a rambling novel.