My (25F) partner (26M) are going through a rough patch and I need some time away. I’m planning on catching a flight home to spend 3-4 weeks with my family. My friends are his friends, and they all talk and fill each other in on what’s happening. I was hoping to spend time with them sporadically throughout my time at home, but my partner doesn’t want them to even know I’m in the state by myself. My partner doesn’t trust J(27FtM transitioning) because of issues we’ve had in the past. They weren’t massive issues, but trust was broken in certain areas. I personally have since forgiven them for said issues, but my partner has not.

His condition was that I don’t even tell any of our friends of this trip because he doesn’t want J to know. I told him I was fine not telling J or their partner, but I’d still like to see at least 2-3 of my other friends in the friend group, but he still wasn’t comfortable with it. I have no other friends outside of this friend group, and while I was planning of strictly staying with my dad on this trip, not spending nights anywhere else, I was hoping to have at least 1-2 nights out of the month to just let loose with my friends. I would be able to hide the fact that we’re going through a hard time if I was asked, but it doesn’t really seem to matter to him.

I did eventually agree to not tell anyone in our friend group that I was spending time in the state, even though my expectations of a night out once or twice were gone. He specifically said it’s not that he doesn’t trust me, it’s that he doesn’t trust them.