About a year ago I gave birth to my first child, after which I’ve had debilitating back issues - unable to sit, stand, or walk at times. After 10 months of trying to treat my 2 very herniated discs conservatively, I finally gave in to having spinal surgery. This surgery requires a 8 week period of no lifting, twisting, or bending. One of the surgeons i met with even said that he couldn’t believe I dealt with this for so long, and that the severity was enough that I could go to the ER that day and have it done - in other words, you need this ASAP or you could permanently damage your nerves, or even lose control of my bodily functions. Obviously life of 2 full time working parents with a 10 month old is crazy, but i scheduled the surgery 3 weeks after my consult, which was as soon as i could with my work schedule. However this meant that my husband’s work conference would fall during the 2nd week of my recovery. If the shoe was on the other foot, i know it would be no question that i would skip the conference to stay home and take care of my family. However, my husband wouldn’t budge and is still at the work conference. Now, im grateful for the help of friends and family during this time that he’s gone, but it’s not their responsibility. HE took the vows in sickness and in health. AITAH?

EDIT: It is worth noting that - 1.) his conference was NOT on our shared calendar, so i did not know about it when i scheduled the surgery. 2.) we discussed the surgery date and i offered to move it, and he insisted not to 3.) i am the breadwinner of our family (by 2-3x) 4.) we have a shared calendar bc our work schedules are very different and constantly changing - he has on-call weeks and i have to sometimes work late nights, we obviously discuss our schedule as well