I (20F) have been seeing a guy named Fred (23M) for the past couple of months. We met at university, started texting more and more, and had our first date in January. That led to more dates and a lot of time spent together over the last three months.

Where I’m from, it’s pretty uncommon for people to have strong religious beliefs, regardless of the religion. I, personally, don’t believe in anything religious. But Fred has more serious convictions. He goes to church every Sunday, his family is religious, and his parents got married before having him. So even though things were going really well between us, I was always a little worried because I simply love having sex (God forbid a girl has hobbies).

Fred, on the other hand, didn’t have any sexual experience beyond making out. We talked about it, he was open to doing some things, but didn’t want to go all the way. He said he’d rather wait until marriage. I agreed, to waiting more, and even though I was a bit disappointed (he’s a fineeeee man and I’m not used to being the one hearing no), I never showed it or pressured him.

In fact, I’m often the one making freaky jokes, but when it comes to actually doing something, he usually takes the initiative because I genuinely don’t want to cross any boundaries. I actually liked waiting for him, it was something new for me, and it helped me become more patient and tolerant in other areas of my life. I’m a dopamine addict I usually prefer instant fun over delayed gratification, even if I know that being patient is often better. So, I really felt like I was growing as a person by waiting for him.

Until yesterday.

We were making out, and things started to get more and more intense (we had literally both came like an hour earlier, so I wasn’t even hornyI just love kissing him). He took the initiative again, and this time the tension was really intense. It was passionate, aggressive, hands everywhere, pure I want you now energy. He got on top of me, we were both almost naked, and he asked if I wanted to..proceed? I, of course, said yes, without really thinking or double-checking that he was okay with it.

It was great, until after.

When he finished, I got up to put some clothes on. He picked up his phone and said, “I’ll have to go soon.” I was like, “No tf not, man, take a chill pill,” but I just said something like, "bro what the flip, wait at least a little bit” He said, “Of course, not right now, but soon.” Then he just started scrolling Reddit and kind of ignored me. I cuddled up to him, but instead of our usual laughing and talking, he was just cold.

I’m a yapper, so I broke the silence and asked if he was okay, if he regretted anything, or if he felt like I’d pressured him. He said no, that everything was fine, and then went straight back to his phone. (And on reddit too like you got a baddie in your bed but you rather be gooning on some marvel rivals subreddit?? or looking at the pools of the next Canadian election??)

I felt so stressed. I still do. I felt like I messed up or was a bad influence. We barely talked after that. I was hurt. In my head, this was supposed to be a moment that brought us closer. I genuinely didn’t mind waiting for him, I really love the guy. But instead, it felt like something broke.

He called an Uber. I said, “Bye, text me when you get home. I love you.” He said, “Will do. Love you too.” He texted me when he got home, I answered right away and since then, nothing. Ghosted on every platform.

I’m used to guys who want to smash and dip, but he never struck me as that type. I’m also not used to religious guys or religious guilt or anything like that. I feel awful, and I don’t know what to do or say.

AITAH? Did I tempt him? Am I like the forbidden fruit and he’s Eve?? I’m so lost.

The way he acted really hurt me, but at the same time, I don’t want to hold it against him because I know this is probably a lot to process for both of us, and that cold behavior isn’t like him. I also don’t want to make him feel bad, because he really was great except for the lack of aftercare.

Could he be pulling away because he sees me as a bad influence? Are we seriously never doing it again until marriage? (I would be lowkey mad, I know its very selfish of me but like you can't give me a taste of what I'm missing and then tell me to wait years to get it back that HAS to be torture)

Since yesterday, I’ve had that heavy feeling in my chest the one I always get when a relationship is about to end, or when there’s something the other person isn’t saying. That feeling has never been wrong before. Every time I’ve felt it, the relationship has ended not long after.

So, really... did I do something wrong?