so, this happened last weekend. my (23f) best friend, mia (24f), has been dating her boyfriend, jake (25m), for about a year. they’ve been talking about getting married for a while, and honestly, i’ve always thought they made a perfect couple. i’m really happy for them, and i’m excited to see them take the next step in their relationship.

now, here’s where it gets tricky. mia and jake decided to throw a “casual” dinner party for some close friends to celebrate their anniversary. she asked me to help set up, and i was more than happy to. what i didn’t know was that jake had planned to propose that night, and mia was unaware.

so we’re all eating and chatting, everything’s going great, when jake stands up and starts this whole speech about how he loves mia, and how she’s been his best friend and partner, etc. at this point, i start getting a little emotional because i know what’s about to happen. but, right before he can drop down on one knee, mia suddenly interrupts him, saying “this is too much, we’re not ready yet.”

everyone went silent. jake looked shocked. mia started tearing up, saying she loved him but wasn’t sure about getting married just yet. jake was visibly crushed, and the whole room just kind of went awkwardly quiet. after a few long, uncomfortable moments, mia apologized and said she just needed more time, and jake nodded but looked really hurt.

here’s where i might’ve messed up. i saw jake standing there looking devastated and totally unsure of what to do, so i stood up, grabbed the ring box from his hand, and said “this isn’t the moment, you should give it some time to breathe and try again later.” mia got really upset with me, calling me out for overstepping and taking away jake’s chance to do this the way he wanted.

so, was i the asshole for stepping in and stopping jake’s proposal, or was i just trying to protect mia from making a big decision under pressure?