My ex and I stayed friends after the breakup. 4 months after staying friends, I found out that he was on tinder for almost half of our relationship. He apologised and I shrugged it off thinking it’s in the past now and we’re now friends so it doesn’t matter anyway. Besides, I asked him and he assured me that he didn’t go out with anyone and promised me that at max, he only flirted and that was it. So I let it go.

But slowly, I started feeling horrible. I kept it bottled up. I have access to his email because he has me apply for job applications and fill out exam forms etc for him. Now, from this, today I started looking at his photos just to see if I can find out how much and who he cheated on me with. I felt that it’s wrong but I had been feeling like he wasn’t completely honest with me.

I saw…. Texts. And images. And videos. Of my overly “masculine” bf with guys. He went on tinder to meet guys.

He often cuts my calls even now to talk to his “friends” and I keep fighting with him that I’d understand if it were family or someone he dates but I always stand by him and do so much for him but he keeps prioritising everyone else over me. Well now I found out why. He is dating both his “friends” right now and actively looking for more men.

He probably also cheated with women too. He had screenshots of his exes instas and more women’s profiles (but a lot less than men) from tinder. I couldn’t see much.

But with one particular guy, who he said he was friends with. He dated him (like full on dated him) while we were dating too. He called him “baby”, “I love you” etc.

I still remember him giving me less and less time along that timeline and I kept feeling insecure. And ever since, he has always blamed me for the breakup since he said I had gotten too “insecure” to deal with things. And I took that blame on me.

One day, I had blocked him because I was leaving for abroad in 2 months and he kept cancelling plans with me but went out with literally every other friend. So, he started texting me and when I picked, he started crying that his “friend” left him and that he cannot live without me too. I consoled this ASSHOLE through that breakup. I consoled him through the breakup he had with someone he was cheating on me with.

I don’t know what to say or do at this point. I don’t even know how to bring this up without him feeling like I invaded his privacy. He used to be very secretive about his phone and just 2 weeks ago, I checked his search history and found he had been on tinder all that time and now this.

I asked him point blank last time that he needs to come clean with me if something else happened and he gave me a clear no. But he went on dates with this guy, called him names he used to call me by, probably kissed and fucked him too I just didn’t have enough proof.

I keep feeling like an AH though for looking through his photos to find this out. Idk what to do