For context, known her for 15 years. The last 10 years has been long distance. The good the bad and the ugly. She has narcissist traits which makes everything really difficult.

So 3 years ago I flew countries to go see her, but she was completely indifferent and distant and at one point even left me to go spend time with the guy she's dating, she is marrying the same guy now.

The whole situation of her indifference broke something in me. Things only became worse after that I tried every possible way to maintain the same level of friendship but it was impossible due to the lack of effort from her since the indifference just continued.

Definitely pushed me to a dark place of self blame, which is when I realised her narcissistic traits. Kept my distance and started confronting her on everything. Since then she's been nice & apologetic. But the triggers never went away if anything I only got used to them.

She visits my city after over 2 years (her parents live in the same city). It was difficult to even look at but I kept it respectful and cordial. After couple of hangouts we both reached kinda of a healthy space. Then she gets engaged and invited me to her wedding.

I'm an anti social person and I was dreading to goto the wedding and also enter her orbit, I was afraid I would get triggered. I started a new job and what not and even with the heavy work schedule I drove 5 hours and went to the wedding.

As soon as I entered the resort my brain went into survival mode. It stayed that way till 4 days until I came back home. Every moment at the event triggered me. Especially looking at her fiance, everytime I heard his name brought back the bad memories from when I visited her and I couldn't function like a normal human. I just sat in the corner didn't interact with anyone and came home.

During one of the events she came and sat next next to me and introduced me to her fiance, i extended my hand he just shook my hand and immediately moved on to speak to my other friend. I thought I was avoiding him but he was avoiding me.

During another event my friend had pulled me closer to take a picture with me. her fiance had his hand on my friends hip and it was touching me I'm sure he felt it too, but he wouldn't let go of her it was uncomfortable, the photographer had then told us to pose certain way which involved our hands and that's when he moved his hand. I let it go thinking he was caught up in the moment.

I know these are small things, but even the triggered me was in someway open to interact with him if he did but there was something off about him.

I'm sure I looked like an AH for not participating in the events & for not interacting with him.