Throwaway account because I don’t want anyone to know who I am. I really need some advice because I don’t really have anyone in my life to talk to and I need unbiased opinions. This got really long so I’m really sorry. if you make it through, thank you for staying and helping me. I just want all the details out so there’s a fair assessment. For starters I want to express that I have deep trust issues from past trauma that I have been working intensely with a therapist for. I 28F and my boyfriend 25M met gaming online in January. Things somehow escalated into a relationship and I flew him out here to see if we would be compatible. I thought we were. He hit a rough patch 5 months before I met him and I guess his gf cheated on him and he got screwed over so he moved back in with his mom to get back on his feet. Well his mom was forcing him out of the home right after he visited me so the conversation of him moving in with me happened. So then he did.

I knew about his situation with his truck, I guess he hasn’t been able to make payments on it because of the situation he was in so they’re currently trying to repo it but they don’t know where he is now. We agreed he’d find a job, throw all his money towards that truck until it’s balanced out and then he can help pay bills with me. I feel like this is incredibly helpful for him and I didn’t mind. He found a job and started working. One of my biggest fears in life has been meeting someone and they just look at me like I can be their sugar mama. On the heels of him learning I make 6 figures a year, he told me, “I know a solution to prevent my truck from getting taken. If someone were to co sign for me..” At that point I cut him off and told him, “I know there is no way you are asking me this question right now.” And I shut it down immediately. He then let it go. The thing is, I know he already asked his mom and dad. I also made it extremely clear from the beginning multiple times to never take me there when it comes to my money. He knows how my past relationships tried to take advantage of me. That question was the worst thing he could have ever asked me. He also proceeded to ask me for $20. The thing is, I know he doesn’t have money right now, I THINK he’s good for it, so $20 isn’t that big of a deal, but now it is after that question. I was upset for days and things weren’t the same so I exploded on him one night. He told me he “never asked me. He was just saying that’s how we could fix his situation.”

In my opinion, as soon as you ask your woman that question, you just set the tone for the entire relationship and you don’t respect her. I don’t think a self respecting man would ever ask his woman that. If anything it should be the other way around where I ask him that. I thought we shared the same values as we spoke of how he wants to take care of me some day so I don’t have to work. And why is it MY responsibility to help you? That is literally your only bill you have to take care of. I’m not your mommy or your wallet.

When he hadn’t gotten a job yet, he would cook and clean while I worked. He also brought home groceries which I appreciated. Everything seemed great. However, he sits there and games and I’ll ask him for help in the kitchen for something and he is now getting annoyed telling me that I can just do it…. We BOTH just got home from work. I am also a gamer. A bigger gamer than him, but there’s NO way I’m going to take care of all of the household chores on top of working my ahh off. My job is extremely physically and mentally demanding.

During one of my anxiety spikes the next night I went to look for my AirPods. The other day he couldn’t find his headphones for music for work, I felt bad for him. I never heard if he found them or not. When I couldn’t find them I finally had to ask him if he somehow had them. He did. I lost it again because I know for damn sure if he took something from his mom and didn’t tell her she would’ve ripped him a new one. Because you respect your mom. You wouldn’t do it to her, so why would you do it to me? Any sensical person knows that you ASK to borrow something. All he had to do was ask and of course I would’ve said yes you can use them. But he didn’t.

I feel like all trust has been broken because he clearly doesn’t respect me. And I feel I’m to blame because I gave him a free ride here. I bought him a Series X randomly before he got here. Bought him a plane ticket. Gave him $20 here and there and bought him a game. I feel like this is my fault because quite frankly I’m the one that set myself up for failure to be taken advantage of. I don’t feel emotionally safe with him anymore. Everything has shifted.

Lastnight is what did it for me. After me losing it on him the night before he texted me that “he wants to make dinner tonight” I got home ready to try and repair this relationship and he was asleep on the couch. Whatever, that’s fine. I go to take a shower and find his c*m towel.

I am going to mention this and I will not argue about this in the comments. I am allowed to not be okay with corn. I told him that’s my number one thing that will destroy our relationship. He knows this. I told him if I ever ever catch him looking at it, I will kick him out. I told him this before he moved in and he understood. He always said he didn’t look at it. Our relationship will be over. I can’t handle it. I have my own traumas with it. Please leave your opinions out on this. When I found the towel, everything seemed to just click. If you don’t respect me to ask when you take my things and you look at me like I’m a wallet. You don’t respect me. Of course you’re looking at corn. I feel so broken up inside because I can’t even be near him. I am so devastated that this is happening once again. No, I do not have proof of the corn. I didn’t even ask. I can’t even eat. I don’t even want to ask. I just want him gone. I don’t want him to touch me. I don’t even want his presence near me. It makes me sick and I feel nothing but despair. I’m not trying to hold money over his head or make him feel like trash for not having his paychecks yet, I am empathetic to it. but it’s the empty promises too. He’ll text me cute things during the work day and when I get home, no hug. Doesn’t do the cute things he said he would to keep the romance alive. Just sits there and games. It’s barely been a month and the relationship has already deteriorated.

He just started his job this week. He moved halfway across the country for me. Would I be the AH if I kicked him out? He doesn’t have anywhere to go. I knew this could happen when I invited him in and yet I took that leap of faith anyway. I feel so stuck and like a complete idiot. It’s unbearable feeling this way. I feel so taken for granted. Please tell me your thoughts.