I (27F) was invited to my cousin’s baby shower happening next month. I was totally planning to go — I already bought a small gift from her registry and was looking forward to seeing some family I haven’t caught up with in a while.

But then I got a group message from her sister (who’s organizing the event) asking all the invitees if we could each chip in $100 to “help make the shower extra special.” It caught me off guard — I thought this was something the host was covering. I already spent around $40 on the gift, and with gas and time off work, this shower is becoming kind of expensive.

I replied and said I wouldn’t be able to contribute that much but I’d still love to come. The organizer didn’t respond, but later my mom told me my cousin was “hurt” that I wouldn’t pitch in, and another family member said if I wasn’t contributing, maybe I shouldn’t show up at all. So… I didn’t.

Now a few relatives are saying I “bailed over a little money” and that I made a big deal out of nothing. I feel kind of bad, but also like — isn’t it weird to invite someone to a party and then ask them to help pay for it?

So, AITA for skipping the baby shower after being asked to help fund it?